George,

 >   In southern California, if there's no smog, UCLA.

 GP> I like it!

 GP> If there is fog, UC Berkely? I guess not. . . or snot. . .

  In this case, a sneeze is known as a Booger Holler. 

 >   If that's not a viable option, press the pound key.

 GP> I see a number key or is it an octothorpe?

  Same thing...the tic-tac-toe symbol.

 > ... I took an IQ test, and the results were negative.

 GP> That takes a special kind of person!

  That's the tagline I sent, and the late Nancy Backus (I miss her),
said "that explains a lot ". She said afterwards "I hope you
know I was joking", and I said "I got a good laugh out of it".

 GP> There's an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ
 GP> It's 150 minus the number of toilet rolls you bought in March 2000

  I've slept and [pooped] since then.

 GP> A band named 1023 MB was very sad, they couldn't get a gig.

  A data late, and a duller short.

 GP> My IQ test result just came in and I’m really relieved!

  Made you pee all over the floor, eh?? Or, you were so happy, you
could just [poop]??!! 

Daryl

... The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32