>  GP> You accelerate into a curve, right?

 >   Only if you have a death wish.

&/or you're a city bus driver going about 10-15MPH over the speed limit with
sa bus filled with standees!
I & my wheelchair weight 700lbs and are strapped down by 3 belts (L&R on the
chair & a lap belt for me) & I'm holding on to an overhead(luckily I have 
long arms, & can reach while seated) strap for dear life, to keep from
tipping! Thankfully they replaced that maniacal bus route with a lightrail
option (25 minutes downtown here to downtown Vamncopuiver, vs 90-100 before)

  >   Or the one where the police officer is standing, but the barrel of his
 > shotgun is propped up against his butt. The meme notes "Why Women Live
 > Longer". :P

I had a group of about 10 of that category! Funny stuff, but only because
theyere all true! 

 >  GP> DOS 4,01 to Windows 10.0. . . what a expletive-decorated journey that
 >  GP> has been!

 >   I started with 3.2, then went to 5.0, 6.0, 6.2, and 6.22 -- and I even
 > ran DESQView. Then Windows 95, 98, XP, 7, and now 10.

Me, too, except I had 98SP & then, *grooooan* the dreaded evil Vista (I knew 
I was going to invent new swear words when first session I ran it, & finished
with the new, built for Vista, MSIE, I closed it, with the 'x' & a popup said
"Internet explorer has closed... restarting" &, in that same session found 
out that most of the included utilities weren't compatible with Vista!

Was so happy to have found an old XP machine & gone back to the last stable
Windows ever (I still call it that)

I still miss DOS, but too busy &/or lazy to set up my old IBM MCA 486 PS/2,
comes with SCSI drivce so I'm not stuck paying $3,000+ for a 2Gb hard disk.

 the original disk doubler that Microsoft stole for DOS 6.2
 >  GP> & was forced by a judge to remove and issue DOS 6.22 (when M$ & their
 >  GP> million dollar lawyers lose a case, you KNOW the theft was bad)

 >   Sounds like what they did with DoubleSpace and DriveSpace, which was
 > originally done by Stacker.

Exactly the incident I'm referring to, yup. . .

I now have the original Stac installed on the 486, doubling my 400Mb(C:) & my
80Mb(D:). (and data has multipled to fill all available space, of course!)

 >  GP> We supposed Gates walked out of that courtroom, after being ordered 
to
 >  GP> split Office & their OS(Windoze) into separate companies, asked out
 >  GP> loud, "So, this means I now own TWO monopolies?"

 >   Really. He has his hands in more cookie jars than Microsoft.

He IS Microsoft!

  >   Sounds like the song Tom T. Hall did -- faster horses, younger women,
 > older whiskey, and more money".

I'll take all 4, but you can keep the horses, unless they're makingme good
money at the races & someone else handles the business sde of that 
enterprise. . .

  >   That's what the BBS is on at the moment (my late Mom's computer), but
I'm
 > working on moving the BBS into the cloud by late next week. But 3 days of
 > thunderstorms will put the kabosh (sp?) on that. Once it's in the cloud 
and
 > set up though, I won't have to take it down for thunderstorms anymore.

What if there's a storm wherever the cloud is hosted? (you HOPE  they have
lightnig rods & surge proectors everywhere, but don't assume they do); my
company's IT dude assumed Amazon Cloud would have regular backups, but when
Amazion lost part of our data, they lost it ALL! (whole company had been 
moved there, since we're 100% virtual now)

We rebuilt what we culd from our own, slightly behid, backups.  Thankfully I
was paranoid & had a separate backup(unencrypted) of our key database that 
our IT guy could reconstruct & reinitialise.

Else our company could've died right then.

  >  > "This fellow Charles Lindburg will never make it.  He's doomed."
 >  >        Harry Guggenheim, millionaire aviation enthusiast

 >   To success.

Funny thing, Lindbergh did nothing impressive; he was not the first to cross
the Atlantic solo, not by about 400 others, & he waasn;'t even the first
American to do so, but the media loved him since his kid was kidnapped, so a
myth was born!

Ditto Edison -- not an inventor of any note -- the incandescent lightbulb 
with tungsten filament had been in use for 100+ years prior to his claiming 
to have invented it!

He msade a ig deal about his Menlo Park labs & the media ate it/him up;
basically he had people doing everything for him then he put his own name on
the parent as primary inventor.  He was a conman!

Now Nikola Tesla - THERE was an American genius & inventor, but they dumped
him because he dared to discover/create a way to get electricity for free!

Killed him, killed his lab, killed his notes. . . :'( (oh the wonders we
might've had)

 
 >  > "God himself could not sink this ship."
 >  >        Anonymous Titanic Deck Hand

 >   To which, a voice from above says "Is That Your Final Answer??" 

Makes e think of John Lenon saying "We're[Beatles] bigger than God" then soon
after being shot down. . .

& Nebuchadnezzar saying he was like a God to this people -- a week later, his
entrails are being lapped up by a pack of wiold dogs in front of everyone!

Arrogance, vis-a-vis God, is not a healthy way to go. .  

  >  > 'Television won't last. Its a flash in the pan' - Mary
 >  > Somerville, pioneer of radio educational broadcasts, 1948.

"Video killed the radio star" --big "booya" hit on early MTV

  >   There was a 45 RPM record I had a long time ago, which was
 > a compilation of their most popular songs in a skit.

Hmm, can you recall the name of it or the producer? 

  >  > 'Heavier than air flying machines are impossible' - Lord Kelvin.
 >  > President of the Royal Society,1890-5.

 >   

Physicusts have PROVEN (with math) that a bumblebee cannot fly (hey, nobody
said they had to fly ELEGANTLY!) 

Also European scientists proved (using numbers) that a passenger train could
never go faster than 30MPH, as all the air would be sucked out & everyone
would asphyxiate! (true stories, both)

  > ... When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

We avenged ourselves by hunting them into near extinction for their oh-so-
delicious wings. . .

Ordering KFC, and I ask for a chicken wing. Cashier asks, “ok sir, and which
side?”
I replied I had never thought about it before, but I suppose I’ll take the
right side.

Cashier: “sir, I meant mashed potatoes, corn, or beans.”
-=-
I heard that scientist are trying to genetically engineer a pig to have 
wings.
It seems far fetched to me. I'll believe it when pigs fly
[my response: if pigs could fly, seagulls wouldn't be our biggest parked car
problem any more!]
-=-
Q: What has 2 legs but cannot walk, two wings but cannot fly, 2 eyes but
cannot see?
A: A dead chicken.
-=-
I was in a KFC in Prague, standing in line waiting to order my lunch when I
noticed the beautiful girl wearing a black and white tiled apron who was
giving the man in front of me a bucket of Buffalo wings..and then it dawned 
on me.
I was checking out a chequered Czech check-out chick who was checking out 
some chicken at the checkout.

-=-
Q: Do you like ribs or wings?
A: I like them both i am bisnacksual

-=-
Scientifically a raven has 17 primary wing feathers.
The big ones at the end of the wing. These feathers are called pinion
feathers. A crow has sixteen.

So, the difference between a crow and a raven is only a matter of a pinion.

-=-
Brought my friend some chicken, told him I had 1 leg, 3 breasts and a wing.
He asked “So how do you find clothes that fit?”.

-=-
Here's a fact for you: on average we all have 1 breast & 1 testicle!

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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