George,

 > 1) You Can't Beat Our Meat.
 > 2) I Like My Butt Rubbed, And My Pork Pulled.

 GP> What a conkydink, so do I!

  And, having it done by a member of the opposite sex helps, too.
Remember, dirty old Sysops need love, too. ;)

 GP> My doc looked at my gut & said I should diet.

 GP> I replied, "You told me to watch my weigt, so  put it up front where I
 GP> can see it easily.  What colour should I dye my belly to lose weight?"

 GP> Diet is just DIE with a T --Garfield

  My late wife said DIET is a 4 letter excuse to cheat...or an acronym for
Did I Eat That?? 

 GP> ok, dieting it is:

 GP> Did you hear about the guy who went on a fruit diet? In just 2 days, he
 GP> became completely obnoxious
 GP> Evidently, it is enough to make a Mango crazy

  My brother can eat mangoes, but he breaks out in a rash if he touches
the outer skin.

 GP> After careful consideration, I’ve decided to go on an entirely
 GP> vegetarian based diet.
 GP> I will now only eat animals that are herbivores.

  How do you eat one of God's Creatures?? In a sandwich. :P


 GP> My friend Joe recently went on the Dolly Parton diet...
 GP> It made Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean, Joe lean!

  Keep me abreast of any developments with her and Morganna. 

 GP> -=-
 GP> My wife says I'm on a seafood diet....
 GP> When I see food, I eat it!

  Mine is the light version...when it gets light, and I see food, I eat it.

 GP> -=-
 GP> John Bon Jovi has started an extremely strict fruit only diet...
 GP> He's living on a pear.

  I thought his distant relative was Ann Chovy.


 GP> I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet....
 GP> I get hungry.

  You and me both.

 GP> -=-
 GP> I changed my diet...
 GP> ...the cookies now stand left of my keyboard.

  When someone said to delete the cookies, I ate another Oreo.

 GP> -=-
 GP> Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an
 GP> impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which
 GP> made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
 GP> breath. This made him ..

 GP> A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis

  Cue the music!! 

 GP> -=-
 GP> Diet Diary, Day one : Have just removed all the fattening food from the
 GP> House..
 GP> ..and it was so delicious.

  Someone had to do it.
 
 GP> -=-
 GP> I thought about going on an all almond diet
 GP> But that would be just nuts

  Quite so. I prefer the Mounds, but don't care for Almond Joy...does that
mean I'm not nuts??

Daryl

... Avoid that run down feeling. Stay on the sidewalk.
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