>  GP> I remember most from my childhood, mot often on the erstwile Saturday
 >  GP> Morning Cartoons. (they brought an hour a week back of my faves --
 >  GP> HB/WB toons); but they're too predictable now, so I got bored & just
 >  GP> watch GSN instead, as that's my fam's preference.

 >   I like the classic game shows, but some are rather "dorky". :P

Now they're remaking a bunch, like Chain Reaction, which I always liked (I
like to see how much of the chain I can get before they pop initial letters
in!)

My fave games are trivia-based (Jeopardy, Millionaire, The Chase, etc) as I
can play along & learn things.

 >  GP> Or, pointing out the cause of the huge intewrstate sinkhole, the 
expert
 >  GP> pointed at first one then another senaor,m saying, "It wasn't his
 >  GP> fault, wasn't her fault, it was ASPHALT." as he pointed to the state
 >  GP> highways commissioner.

 >   Or the pothole repair truck fell into a huge pothole.

That's usually an indication that they waited too long to go fix it!

 >  GP> God smiles & replies, "I sent you two boats & a helicopter; what more
 >  GP> did you want?

 >   I've heard a variant of that.

It's a good joke & moral lesson, all in one! (like Mike Warnke's standup from
the '70s & '80s)

I like his retelling of classic tales like when Elijah challenmged the 
priests of Baal, by hacving a fduel of lighting a sacrifice on fire, from
Heaven.

The Baalites prepared a mighty altar & danced & shrieked to get their god to
take tyhe offering.

Elijah stands off to the side, laughing, yelling, "Call louder.  Maybe he's
sleeping!"

Finally, he gets bored, & places the slaughtered lamb on a pile of wood, 
soaks it in water, fills the moat around it with water, &, no hisdtrionics
like the pagans, he just prays, "Lord, prove your might by accepting this
offering to Your glory." & WHOOOSH!! a gout of flame from Heaven devoured the
altar, lamb, wood, amnd water all at once.

I expect Warnke, now, would finish by having Elijah turn to the Baalites with
a hearty, "BOOYA, DITCHES!!!"

I also like how he t old the Jonah story:

Jonah was in t he belly of tyhe greast fish for 72 hours, likely sitting in
digestive fluids, bleaching his skin in patches, rotting parts of  his
clothing.  Finally the fish upchucks him out of ts mouth towards shore where
the Ninevites were gathered, just watyching this spectacle of a man, with
seaweed & stomach acids dripping out of his hair & beard, slowly, wade 
towards shore, then lifts up one hand, likewise dripping, & intones,
"REPEEEENT!"

(I picture a crowd's worth of fertilizer suddenly making an appearance behind
closed loincloths!)

 >  GP> That's the standard.  The first shot will provide you some immunity.
 >  GP> Here they're delaying second shots to ensure more get the first one
 >  GP> ASAP.

 >   I saw a story, where you have 90% protection with both shots, but only
 > 80% with just one.

Sounds about right. BC is trying to get more people at 80% before going the
2nbd to give (95% is what I heard the max efficacy is, with Pfizer & Moderna
near it, & Astro-Zeneca closer to 90%)

 >  GP> I usually don't have this problem; I arrive 30-609 minutes early & 
sit
 >  GP> & read whichever book I'm currently reading in Overdrive on my phone
 >  GP> (librry books, usually) ; often, if my doc sees me, she'll take me in
 >  GP> sooner & I'm done & on with my day quicker.

 >   609 minutes early?? You must get there the night before. 

30-60 minutesl it's tough typing when you only have one working hand!

 >  GP> Sam Walton (Wal-Mart) thought similarly & look how big he got!

 >   He's surely turning over in his grave now.

Not sure; his family still has controlling stock & are filthy rich.  What 
else does he want?  Their excuse would be the changing mores of the
American/global cxonsumer, demanding cheaper & cheaper, so everything's msade
in China now (you've seen that story of the world's largest shipping vessel
arriving full in USA, but returning empty?  Dumbasses!

 >  >   Or where the little baby preferred "the natural milk" from his 
Momma's
 >  > breasts, rather than from the milk bottle that Daddy had in his hand. 


 >  GP> I think we all do(did! I meant DID! HONEST!!

 >   Thanks for the mammaries, it was the breast of times...and I don't want
 > to nipple this in the bud. 

Bud Light?

Funny thing, you can get milk & make cheese & cream from ANY mammal(by
definition); I wonder howe many rat farms are currently producing what
percentage of our commercial milk?); I could traihn rats to hook themselves 
up to tiny auto-start milk pumps, so so could anyone else, especially if it's
their business!

 >  GP> It's all about what's in y our heart.  Sounds like you're saying, to
 >  GP> God, "if there MUST be severe weather, let it only harm those who 
wish
 >  GP> for it or otherwise deserve it(got to be careful with that -- we all
 >  GP> deserve 'spankings')(disciplinary, not punitive.)

 >   I didn't say they deserve it...they are "asking for it". So, let them
 > have it. It is true that you should "Be Careful What You Ask For".

Semantics. If you ask for $10/hour at a job & get it, you asked for it & you
deserve(earned) it!  If yo then whine the m ext guy over is getting paid
$15/hour, you may be reminded of the parable of the disgruntled worker.

 >  GP> Jesus' trial was not a legal Jewish court.
 >  GP> 1) theryu trierd him t he day they arrested him (they woke the 
judges);
 >  GP> the rule is to wait 24 hours on capitakl cases to begin the trial.)
 >  GP> 2) the elder of the sahedrin spoke first (the ;law says the youngest
 >  GP> speaks first, as if the elder does, he will influence the 
younger/less
 >  GP> experienced) 3) They did not wait 24 hours to execute.
 >  GP> 4) the highest law of the region (Pilate) gave him the max 40 lashes
 >  GP> with a whip.  Rome invented the Double Indemnity prortection; once
 >  GP> convicted & sentence is carried out, you cannot be tried or sentenced
 >  GP> on the same charge again.  But he then ordered the execution, quite
 >  GP> illegally by Roman AND Jewish law.

 >   Pilate acquitted Jesus 4 times, but the Pharisees would settle for
 > nothing less than Jesus' execution. One author wrote a book called
 > "The Illegal Trial Of Jesus", showing the 18 Jewish Laws that were
 > broken.

Sounds like that book may have been the source for the article I read.

Yup, it was in no way a Jewish trial.  It was a Roman kangaroo court.

It even broke Roman laws!

 >  >   There was another joke on that, but it escapes me offhand.

 >  GP> Anything to do with being used as a bike rack?

 >   Yeah, that's the one!!

Looks like we've both been reading/hearing humour to hold up in trying times.
It(humour) saved my lifwe, I believe. I was despondent after realizing I was
crippled forever, but I discovered standup comedy on my TV, & watched 1-3
hours/day, depending on the day & available shows. 

A few of those, then-famous, comics are still going(like CarrotTop) but some
(like The Amazing Jonathan(my then-fave) have moved on &/or died)

Now I get most of my standup fix on YouTube, replaying favorite shows or 
going through a bunch of shows by one comic (right now it's this hilarious
Brit lady(Sarah Millican), who sounds like a Mother Goose type, but has a
filthy, but funny, mouth on her. She really knows how to work the audiences!
If interested:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsJd3oh_1pgv5gN7DwYxwqQ

Caroline Kostnar is the last vlogger I've watched -- she's funny, especially
for a teenager. . .

I've liked & listened to various funny vloggers over the years. . .

But prefer good stage acts. . .

Dry Bar has lots of good acts, all clean comedy. . . (takes place in SLC, UT)

 >  >   Talk about telling them to "Kiss My Glass". 

 >  GP> Or "Never waste good scotch"

 >   There was a linguist who won a trip around the world and a supply
 > of Scotch for his comment.

 >   You have the words "complete", "finished", and "completely finished".
 > You'd think all of that was basically the same. He said that this is
 > what those mean:

 > 1) When you marry the right woman, you're complete.
 > 2) When you marry the wrong woman, you're finished.
 > 3) When your wife catches you with another woman, you're completely
 > finished.

I was complete well enough before mariage, but now I'm completer!

 > ... "If you don't have a sense of humor, you're better off dead". -R. 
Rabbit

He's not wrong. . .

Laughter is the best medicine; unless you have diabetes, then insulin is the
best medicine. . .

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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