George,

 GP> I remember most from my childhood, mot often on the erstwile Saturday
 GP> Morning Cartoons. (they brought an hour a week back of my faves --
 GP> HB/WB toons); but they're too predictable now, so I got bored & just
 GP> watch GSN instead, as that's my fam's preference.

  I like the classic game shows, but some are rather "dorky". :P

 GP> Or, pointing out the cause of the huge intewrstate sinkhole, the expert
 GP> pointed at first one then another senaor,m saying, "It wasn't his
 GP> fault, wasn't her fault, it was ASPHALT." as he pointed to the state
 GP> highways commissioner.

  Or the pothole repair truck fell into a huge pothole.

 GP> God smiles & replies, "I sent you two boats & a helicopter; what more
 GP> did you want?

  I've heard a variant of that.

 GP> That's the standard.  The f irst shot will provide you some immunity.
 GP> Here they're delaying second shots to ensure more get the first one
 GP> ASAP.

  I saw a story, where you have 90% protection with both shots, but only
80% with just one.

 GP> I usually don't have this problem; I arrive 30-609 minutes early & sit
 GP> & read whichever book I'm currently reading in Overdrive on my phone
 GP> (librry books, usually) ; often, if my doc sees me, she'll take me in
 GP> sooner & I'm done & on with my day quicker.

  609 minutes early?? You must get there the night before. 

 GP> This is how it used tobe & still should be.

  Agreed. The only way someone left that place is if they retired or died.

 GP> Sam Walton (Wal-Mart) thought similarly & look how big he got!

  He's surely turning over in his grave now.

 >   Or where the little baby preferred "the natural milk" from his Momma's
 > breasts, rather than from the milk bottle that Daddy had in his hand. 

 GP> I think we all do(did! I meant DID! HONEST!!

  Thanks for the mammaries, it was the breast of times...and I don't want
to nipple this in the bud. 

 GP> It's all about what's in y our heart.  Sounds like you're saying, to
 GP> God, "if there MUST be severe weather, let it only harm those who wish
 GP> for it or otherwise deserve it(got to be careful with that -- we all
 GP> deserve 'spankings')(disciplinary, not punitive.)

  I didn't say they deserve it...they are "asking for it". So, let them
have it. It is true that you should "Be Careful What You Ask For".

 GP> Jesus' trial was not a legal Jewish court.
 GP> 1) theryu trierd him t he day they arrested him (they woke the judges);
 GP> the rule is to wait 24 hours on capitakl cases to begin the trial.)
 GP> 2) the elder of the sahedrin spoke first (the ;law says the youngest
 GP> speaks first, as if the elder does, he will influence the younger/less
 GP> experienced) 3) They did not wait 24 hours to execute.
 GP> 4) the highest law of the region (Pilate) gave him the max 40 lashes
 GP> with a whip.  Rome invented the Double Indemnity prortection; once
 GP> convicted & sentence is carried out, you cannot be tried or sentenced
 GP> on the same charge again.  But he then ordered the execution, quite
 GP> illegally by Roman AND Jewish law.

  Pilate acquitted Jesus 4 times, but the Pharisees would settle for
nothing less than Jesus' execution. One author wrote a book called
"The Illegal Trial Of Jesus", showing the 18 Jewish Laws that were
broken.

 GP> There was anotyher pastor who asked for a pledge from the tichest
 GP> member, to fix the roof.

 GP> Richie Rich stood up & said, "I pledge $500 towards the roof repair
 GP> fund."

 GP> Just then a piece of ceiling fell,hitting him on the head & he added,
 GP> "Make that $5,000."; another piece & he says, "Ok, $20,000"

 GP> The pastor raised his eyes to Heaven & cried, "Hit him again, Lord!"

  Or like the guy who was slumbering and snoring in the pew. His wife
kept nudging him, trying to wake him, but he kept snoring away. Finally,
she nudged him so hard that it knocked him into the aisle. He replied
"Hit me again. I can still hear him". 

 >   There was another joke on that, but it escapes me offhand.

 GP> Anything to do with being used as a bike rack?

  Yeah, that's the one!!

 >   Talk about telling them to "Kiss My Glass". 

 GP> Or "Never waste good scotch"

  There was a linguist who won a trip around the world and a supply
of Scotch for his comment.

  You have the words "complete", "finished", and "completely finished".
You'd think all of that was basically the same. He said that this is
what those mean:

1) When you marry the right woman, you're complete.
2) When you marry the wrong woman, you're finished.
3) When your wife catches you with another woman, you're completely finished.

Daryl

... "If you don't have a sense of humor, you're better off dead". -R. Rabbit
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