George,

 GP> Oh, that's going back. . . good old Hanna Barbera - I only watch their
 GP> Flintstones now. On occasion.

  I'm really showing my age now...let's see...

1) Quick Draw McGraw (aka El Kabong) and Babba Louie
2) Huckleberry Hound
3) Touche' Turtle (and Dum Dum)
4) Pixie and Dixie (and Mister Jinks)
5) Lippy The Lion (and Hardy Har-Har)
6) Wally Gator
7) Yogi Bear (and Boo Boo)
8) The Flintstones
9) The Jetsons

 GP> More the point of view he thought he was breinging his most valuable
 GP> possessions, but in Heaven it's just asphalt ("the streets are paved
 GP> with gold")

  To me, asphalt is when you hit the tennis ball with your butt .

 GP> Another one I like is the rich old miser who died.  Peter is aking him
 GP> to his heavenly home.

[snip]

 GP> "To be honest, sir," replied Peter, "We did the best we could with what
 GP> you've sent us."  (store up your treasure in Heaven. . .)

  

 GP> Soundd like he was the butt of much family ribbing for a while, eh?

  For sure. I went ahead and paid both his and my personal property tax
and real estate tax today (his was cheaper than mine). So, I met him for
lunch today to tell him I had paid it. He said "I never got a bill", and
I said "I had them sent to me, so they wouldn't get lost". I told him
what I paid, and he reimbursed me. I went and put that back into the bank.

 GP> I've never had venison, & I'm okay with that.  I prefer my meat animals
 GP> be slaughtered humanely(clean, quick, & painless, as per Torah law)

  In cooking stuff, I prefer mine cooked "Well done, thou good and faithful
servant".  I've known folks who want them "still breathing"...not me.

 >  >   With my first of two COVID-19 shots today, I postponed the rest of my
 >  > medical stuff until mid-May...allowing 3 weeks after both shots.

 >  GP> Wise.  One thing at a time for your body to deal with, eh? :)

  I called one of the medical folks, and they said I could go out between
the shots for errands, etc., as long as I had a mask on.

 GP> Nothing wrong with naps -- if you need one & your life allows you to
 GP> fit it in, take it!

  Frequent naps prevent old age...especially if taken while driving. 
Or "I want to die like my grandfather did...in his sleep. Not like the
other passengers in his car that were screaming". 

 >   I would've liked more, but the setup kept me from being overdrawn.

 GP> So you won, in a way. . .

  As noted, my brother reimbursed me for his taxes...I was surprised
about that.

 GP> I've done similiar, up to supervisor anyway, & then took a mesage for
 GP> my boss & recommended he just toss it (he did).

  Or the dog answering the boss' phone while he stepped out...but there
is a poop pile on the floor, and the dog noted "Nature Called". 

 GP> Here's hoping & praying. . . I had a bill sneak up on me nme year, sas
 GP> I'd done volunter work for one org that gave me a $50 honorarium each
 GP> month. That $600 was counted as "self employment income" so got
 GP> factored differently from "employment income" & suddenly, instead of
 GP> getting a big refundcheque, I had to pay $19! (I did, whatever)

  I saw a link from another BBS User that apparently that stimulus money
is not taxable. I also supplied the letters that noted "this is a 
non-taxable transaction" on the insurance annuities after my Mom's
death...so, I should be in the clear on those.

 GP> Smart man! I've arrived as much as 2 hours early for work or job
 GP> interview, because t he buses actually ran n  time! (I always have
 GP> books on my phone to read while waiting, & I usually get in early for
 GP> interviews or other appointments; for work, I split the extra time
 GP> between reading+coffee & hitting my desk early to prep for the day
 GP> ahead. . .

  I'd rather be early, because if you're more than 10 minutes late to
many clinics, they charge you a no show fee, you have to reschedule,
and you may have to wait several weeks to get in again.

 GP> I thought, as many, that my extra efforts were an noticeable as a man
 GP> peeing his dark pants in a dark room, but when I asked for 4 hours off
 GP> work(unpaid)to pick up my step daughter from the airport, my boss told
 GP> me to take the day off, with pay,. & explained, "I know what happens
 GP> around here. I see you arrive early & stay late. . . Call this a thank
 GP> you."

  That reminds me of years ago in New England, this major textile production
plant, caught fire just before Thanksgiving...putting all the employees out
of work, and it looked like they wouldn't have any money for Thanksgiving,
Christmas, etc., and wouldn't be back to work until the spring.

  Well, the owner...a Jewish man...decided to go ahead and pay all of the
employees during the rebuilding...as the insurance quickly settled for
repairs. When they reopened in the spring, the employees were ready to
kiss his feet..."When do you want us to work for you??". He was there
for them when they needed him...now, they were ready to return the favor.

 GP> Oh, that'd bhe fine -- make for juicier meat on  the grill, eh? I say
 GP> "as useless as a nun's uterus"; nuns' tits are usefgul as they
 GP> idfentify her as a female & model what one looks like to wee kids in
 GP> her charge.

  Or where the little baby preferred "the natural milk" from his Momma's
breasts, rather than from the milk bottle that Daddy had in his hand. 

 GP> It's just so bad that they sit down & discuss it in those terms behind
 GP> secrecy doors.

  If we knew of all the money under the table, we'd be furious. But, on
Judgment Day, whether done in secret or in the open, there will be "No
Question Of Guilt".

 GP> She showed up in court with video of various cops doing the same &
 GP> worse on that street (without lights or sieens on, so it wasn't part of
 GP> the job); fine dismissed & cops castigated in open court!

  Revenge is a dish best served cold.

 GP> I try not to wish harm on anyone.

  Some say that I'm doing that when it comes to hazardous weather...be it
for tornadoes, large hail, damaging winds, and flooding rain during
tornado season or hurricanes...or snow and ice for winter storms. 

  Basically, for those who are WANTING the severe or winter weather,
let THEM experience the property damage, injury, death, etc. -- as
they were wanting it (to prove "Be Careful What You Ask For"). For
those who do NOT want the hazardous weather (like myself, and so
many others), may they be spared from it.

 GP> The rules for the Sanhedrin (Israel's Supreme Court of 70 elders) state
 GP> that if you can't find at least 2-3 reasons to exonerate a man for a
 GP> murder charge, you don't deserve to be a judge. & you should vote to
 GP> acquit."

  None of that was followed in Jesus' trial. In short, Jesus wasn't the
Messiah that the Pharisees were looking for. When they told Him to tell
His Disciples to be quiet, He said "If they do, the rocks and stones
will cry out".

 >   I thought a sneeze was known as a booger holler. 

 GP> That works, & sa fasrt is a cry for help from a turd in trouble; or an
 GP> audio test of your waste disposal system! Or a barking frog.

  Or like from "Caddyshack" -- "did somebody step on a duck??". Or where
one small duck was behind another one, who was apparently bent over, and
he told the other one "I can see your quack". 

 >   The box of baking soda had been in the icebox a long time, and it was
 > no longer masking the food odors from getting to other foods (i.e. fish,
 > onions, etc.).

 GP> Ahh, it had absorbed its weight in stink & now stunk itself? Eww. . .I
 GP> hatet when I catch a whiff of those!

 Plus, you don't have to have things like fish, onions, etc. on other foods
that weren't meant to have the "extra flavoring".

 GP> Pastyor was gioving a impsassioned sermon & went on to say, "all those
 GP> who expect to go to Heaven, please line up along the green wall"

 GP> Most did, then he said, "All  those who hope to go to Heaven, line up
 GP> on  the red wall."

 GP> All but one went.

 GP> The pastor addressed him, "Mr. Smythe, don't you want to go to Heaven
 GP> when you die?"

 GP> "OH!@!! When I die! Of course; I thought you were lining them up to go
 GP> right now!"

  I think of the one where the pastor was trying to raise money for the
building fund to expand the church facilities. So, before the church
service, he wired all the pews with electricity...and had the main
control box in the pulpit. 

  He gets up there and says "Now, all you men and brethren, who feel
led of The Lord to give $100 to the new building, stand up". He
pushed a button, and 20 people sprang to their feet (like they had
a choice??!! ).

  "Excellent!!" the pastor said. He continued and said "Now, all you 
men and brethren, who feel led of The Lord to give $500 to the new 
building, stand up". He pushed another button, and 30 people sprang
to their feet!! 

  "Fine, Fine!!" the pastor beamed. He continued with "Now, all you
men and brethren, who feel led of The Lord to give $1000 to the new
building, stand up".

  He pulled the Master Control Switch, and electrocuted 14 deacons!!
.

  Then, you had the church where the pastor preached the sermon on
tithing. Unfortunately, the music director got fired afterwards...
because the offertory hymn was "Jesus Paid It All". 

 GP> I used to say I want to be buried upside down so those who hate me can
 GP> kiss my butt!

  There was another joke on that, but it escapes me offhand.

 GP> Fred & Mark were talking & agreed to put aside two premium bottles of
 GP> 40year scotch for when either one dies & to pour it on their grave.

 GP> "You don't mind," says Mark, "if I pass it through my kidneys first, do
 GP> yas?"

  Talk about telling them to "Kiss My Glass". 

Daryl

... I'm an amateur crastinator. Some day, I'll turn pro.
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