Message-ID: 

After a leisurely 85 MPH drive for 90 miles, we made it to the Tucson 
Convention Center about a half hour before the doors opened for the May 
4th Smackdown and Velocity tapings.

I'll say right off that the crowd was hot; much, much more into it than 
they were at RAW the night before.  The overall show was awesome--much 
better than RAW.

I was sitting third row on the floor, and fourth seat in from the 
"ramp." (Smackdown doesn't have a ramp like RAW does; the entrance stage 
is ground level.)  With the seats raised up, there was enough room for 
four of us to crowd against the railing.  For most of the show, I was 
wearing a green tee shirt with an eagle on it, but for a small part, I 
was wearing a World Life (the one with the old WWF-like logo) over it; I 
had to remove it because the air conditioning wasn't working well, and 
two tee shirts were just too hot.

That said, if you don't want to know what happened, stop reading now; 
you'll find out on Thursday, regardless.




Dark Match:  Mordechai squashed Shannon Moore.  Mordechai actually drew 
a face pops even though he wrestled as a heel, and Moore drew chants of 
"Jobber!"

Smackdown:

Jindrak, with Teddy Long, squashed Scotty too Hottie; Rikishi did not 
make any appearance all night.  Long is short; he's an inch or two 
shorter than I am, and I'm just barely 5'7" in my flats.

Spike Dudley over Jamie "By God" Noble, with a Dudley Dog.  The match 
was entertaining, and it was a treat to see them let Spike win one 
against someone who is not a jobber.

Orlando Jordan over Akio.  Not quite a squash, but it surely pointed out 
their relative positions on the totem pole, so to speak.

Rico and Hass, with Miss Jackie, over Kidman and London.  Both teams 
wrestled as faces; the fans were really into this match, especially 
Rico's antics.  Typical ending:  Rico kissed Kidman (I think it was 
Kidman.) and Hass did something and pinned him.

As Rico and Jackie were walking back up the ramp, I leaned over it and 
stretched my right hand out for Rico to touch.  When he did, I puckered 
up and pulled his hand gently; he looked at me, then came close, 
puckered, and planted one right on my lips.  *sigh*

End of Velocity.


Smackdown:

After the standard WWE intro video (the one that ends with the WWE logo 
swept across the screen), Cole is in the ring, and announces that 
Eddie's mother had a heart attack Sunday evening.  He continues that it 
happened in El Paso, after Eddie brought her into the ring.  They just 
happened to tape it, and showed the tape on the Titan-tron.

First Eddie's wife and kids came in, and he introduced them, and gave 
his wife a bunch of flowers in honor of Mother's day, which he said was 
next weekend (which it is), and they have a very passionate kiss--not at 
all like the peck I got from Rico.  Then he introduced his mom, praised 
her for the way she raised him and his brothers, and gave her a bunch of 
flowers too.

As he was praising his mom, JBL ran into the ring.  Eddie shooed his 
family out of the ring, but his mom stayed in the ring, next to the 
ropes on the far side from where JBL climbed in.  JBL KOed Eddie, and 
then turned to his mom; she was frozen.  After some insults, JBL grabbed 
her by the neck, and she collapsed.

As soon as the tope had started to roll, I realized that it was a work.

First match was Cena over Doug Basham.  Good match, and Cena drew major 
pops.

Then, on the titan-tron, Booker T visited a spiritualist/voodoo woman.  
Total BS skit.

Next, Chavo and dad enter the ring.  Sr. says that his mom had a heart 
attack two days ago, but Chavo had issued a challenge to the world, and 
he had to be there with his son, as much as he wanted to be with his own 
mother.  Chavo repeated his challenge to anyone in the cruiserweight 
class who had never wrestled Chavo.  No one came out, and he asked if 
everyone were too scared to wrestle him.  Finally someone did come out.  
This is a *major* spoiler, so I'll leave you in suspense until the end 
of this message.

The FBI entered the ring during the commercial break, and were announced 
for a tag team match.  After the commercial, Luther wheeled out Angle, 
who stayed just in front of the screen, and related how he told the 
Undertaker that he would have to wrestle tonight, but no one in the 
locker room would accept the match.  So, the FBI was going to be forced 
to wrestle Taker, even though they were expecting a tag team match.  Of 
course, it was a squash.

Next was a follow-up with Booker T, following the instructions the 
voodoo lady gave him.  I didn't see it because I was watching a fight 
that had broken out between two fans. Security broke them up and started 
to escort one of them out of the arena; we all started to sing "Na na na 
na, hey hey, good bye."  A few moments later, the guy started to 
struggle with the security people, and before you could say "police," 
two police offers were there, handcuffed him and dragged him out.  We 
sang again.

Dupree, with his mother, Fifi, came out next and sat at the announcer's 
table.  The match was Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie.  It looks like Fit 
Finlay has actually been able to accomplish something with them; the 
match wasn't bad.  However, Dupree attacked Torie after she had been 
thrown out of the ring.  Cena to the rescue.  Battle ensues between Cena 
and Dupree.  Torrie runs back to the entrance ramp; Dawn Marie looks at 
her and shouts "What are you doing?"  After Torrie goes behind the 
screen, Dawn Marie gets out of the ring, and walks back there.  That's 
the last we saw of them.  Meanwhile, Dupree is beating the crap out of 
Cena; after he is dragged off, they brink out a gurney to take Cena 
back.  Dupree breaks free of his captors and attacks Cena again.  
Finally Dupree goes to the back, and Cena is helped to his feet, and 
with his arms around two people, manages to walk back, with the gurney 
following them.  I guess that the match itself was No Contest.

(Somewhere during the show--I forget when--Josh Mathews tries to 
interview Eddie; Eddie is speechless, but shaking with rage.  Josh 
leaves him alone.)

Backstage skit with Heyman telling Angle that Eddie should not be 
allowed to wrestle this evening because he is out of control, and if he 
hurts the Dudleys, they will sue (at Heyman's urging) the WWE.  He goes 
on, but Angle says that he made his point, and that Eddie is off the 
match.  He whispers to Luthor, and then says, "Go tell him to get ready."

Interview with JBL (who wasn't there; "satellite hookup"), who gives 
typical heel interview, blaming Eddie for bringing his family into the 
ring, (This wasn't "bring the family to work day."), etc.

Main event:  Dudley Boys vs. RVD and--substituting for Eddie 
Guerrero--Rey Mysterio.  RVD and Rey eventually win the match, and then 
the Dudleys begin a beat down on both of them.  After a while, to no 
one's surprise, Eddie comes running in.  After beating on both Dudleys a 
while, he goes outside and gets a chair.  The referee (Robinson) tries 
to stop him, and gets thrown out of the ring for his efforts.  Each 
Dudley takes a wicked chair shot--smack on the head, without their hands 
or arms anywhere near to block it.  They had to hurt.  I don't know 
whether the chair was gimmicked, but the back came loose and eventually 
fell off completely.  Nick Patrick tries to break it up, and gets a 
chair shot for his efforts.  RVD wakes up (Rey had taken a 3D and was 
out of it completely) and tries to stop Eddie, and gets a chair shot 
himself; putting him out of it until after everyone else clears the 
ring.  Both Dudleys get another wicked chair shot each.  Both of them, 
and Patrick, bladed, but RVD did not blade.

In the meantime, the place is in a pandemonium, with everyone shouting 
"Eddie! Eddie!"  Eventually, the ring is cleared, and the show ended.  A 
camerman was taking close up shots of the blood on the ring, and of the 
broken chair.  I don't know whether they will be on the show this 
Thursday, or whether they are being saved for next week's recap.

OK, major spoiler ahead:  the Chavo match.





Chavo's challenger was Jacqueline.  Chavo did the typical "Are you 
serious," and "get out of the ring, go to the back and get me a 
sandwich," et. routine.  Jacqueline wins with a pin after a low blow 
while the ref was distracted by Chavo, Sr., and is the new WWE 
Cruiserweight Champion.  Looks like she's reprising her angle of 
wrestling men that she had before joining the WWE.  No explanation of 
why she is on Smackdown instead of RAW.

-- 
Stop Mad Cowboy Disease:  Vote for John Kerry.


--- Internet Rex 2.29