> George,

 >  > until I was 43...but never dreamed I'd be a widower at 47.

 >  GP> For real?! Ouch! :(

 >   Yep...and I never remarried. But, I'm glad my parents and wife are gone
 > now, so they wouldn't see me suffer.

Hold off on the suffering.  You haven't been made acquaintance with the Holy
Spirit so you can be miserable! ;) 

"Rejoice in the Lord always, & again I say: Rejoice" (I interpret that to 
mean to eat dessert first, second, third, etc.)

It's a good deed to eat all the desserts at a pot luck (otherwise the bakers
feel insulted)

 >  GP> I married at 42 (late enough); first time dad at 44. . . It's a young
 >  GP> man's game, but I'm surviving it. . . :)

 >   Getting married should scare the crap out of a man. It did me,
 > literally...
 > I had IBS the morning before we went to my wife's church to the ceremony.

*LOL* Did you bring your own "music"  to the ceremony? Tooting out "Here 
comes the bride," maybe?

 > Her church had a potluck every other Sunday, and that's when we got 
married.
 > We walked in, and were greeted with "Ah!! The Bride And Groom!!"...to 
which,
 > I said, "We're not married yet". 

Close enough; you're bride & groom until married then you're husband & wife.

 >   I want to backtrack a little though...to the bridal shower a month 
before.
 > My fiance' (I used to think it was pronounced "finance-ee". ) wanted
 > everyone there...not just the ladies.

If your fiancée pronounces it as financer, run. . .

 >   The funniest part was where they were giving the new couple to be, 
advice;
 > but no one would sign their names. Here are the top 3:

 > 3) "Janice shouldn't be the only one with dish pan hands". 

 >   After working at Burger King for 5 years over 40 years ago, I was no
 > stranger to doing dishes, taking out trash, etc. I've had to do such since
 > her death...and have no sympathy for husbands who say "housework is for 
the
 > woman".

It's so wrong.  I did my share of dishes, back when I had both hands working.

With my first GF (live-in) we negotiated chores; I cooked, she cleaned up.

Now, my wife hates shopping (as did I, so I gave her that I'd do the shopping
as a bonus wedding gift); I buy it, she cooks it.

 > 2) "Daryl...pray for the Second Coming (of The Lord Jesus Christ). Jan...
 > pray that it is soon". 

 >   I had thought of myself as a Life Member of BTR (Bachelor 'Til Rapture);
 > but The Good Lord made a liar out of me on that...and I got voted out. 

Seems like this one was a mite cynical.

 > 1) "Violets are Purple. Roses are Red. When Daryl is blue...Jan, head for
 > the bed".

 >   The preacher's wife (a natural blonde, but smarter than one), and
 > myself, turned the color of a tomato. I uttered the S word in an
 > expletive as I put my head down on the table. No one heard it, as
 > the entire room had erupted into raucous laughter. Janice said "Oh!!
 > He's turning a much brighter shade of pink than he normally does!!".
 > I was *NEVER* so embarrassed in all my life!!

Aww -- this is what makes indelible memories.

 >   But, at the wedding, I was so nervous, that I put her engagement
 > ring (that we got for $25 at a Going Out Of Business Sale from an 
 > area K-Mart store (I think all of them are gone now)...her wedding
 > ring...and my wedding ring, all on her finger. 

My BIL married my sister with "take to be my awfully wedded wife"(nervous);
luckily the ceremony was caught on video. . .

 >   I'm about to blurt out "Where the Hell is the other one??!!"
 > The Good Lord is so wise..the preacher gently admonished (and
 > everyone heard it) "You're not supposed to put all the rings
 > on her finger!!". As I let out "Oops...I'm a little nervous!!",
 > the entire group roared in laughter.

A happy day for all!

 >   But, when I sang "The Vows Go Unbroken" by the late Kenny
 > Rogers (aka "The Gambler"), there wasn't a dry eye in the house.
 > To this day, nearly 18 years later, I still can't look at the
 > wedding video without crying like a baby.

Nothing wrong with that -- it means you felt & felt sincerely. It's a
treasure.

 >   Afterwards, my new wife and I were changing out of our
 > wedding duds (before the ceremony, as the potluck was ending,
 > the preacher said "I've got to go put my marrying clothes on"),
 > and it was taking a bit to switch out. We were in a small room,
 > and for obvious reasons, had closed and locked the door. The
 > guy who was my best man (he died 5 months after my wife died...
 > she had a heart attack, he had cancer), knocked on the door,
 > and asked "What are you doing in there??". I wish I would've had 
 > my wits about me...I would've replied "Playing Strip Poker". 

Why not, right? In the Jewish tradition marriage is consummated not by a
bloody sheet hung out the window, but by the bride & groom going in to a 
small room in seclusion together for a half hour or so -- to "eat a small 
meal together, privately"

Yup, people assume what they wish to. . .

 >  GP> Maybe some guest jokers?

 >   So the one from Batman is on lunch break?? 

He died, didn't he? 

 >  GP> Quotes on parenting:

 >  GP> “Parenthood is a journey except it's just traveling from room to room
 >  GP> putting away the same toys all day long.” —@OneFunnyMummy

 >   Or wrap up the toys they haven't touched in awhile, and give
 > them as Christmas presents (one parent did this, and the kids
 > thought they were new...but they had forgotten they hadn't played
 > with them in a long time).

That's a good one, but check they're still the right age for it. . .

 >  GP> “Parenting is mostly just informing kids how many more minutes they
 >  GP> have of something.” —@yoyoha

 >   And, the clock is ticking. 

To ground your kid, don'ty take away their devices -- take away their
chargers, so they get to slowly watch the batteries get lower & lower. . .

 >  GP> “You know you're a parent when you've washed yourself with baby wipes
 >  GP> to save time in the morning.” —Anonymous

 >   That's for sure!!

So convenient!

 >  GP> “I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said, ‘Not yet, but we placed 
an
 >  GP> ad.’" —Dana Snow

 >   

I've been thinking about adoption lately, but nobody wants to take a 12yo boy
who eats like a Sumo wrestler!

 >  GP> “Driving around at 3am with soft music on the radio isn't normal, but
 >  GP> as a parent it is.” —@Batman1285

 >   Kids are like kitties...it's play time at 3am.

& the smooth motio of the car helps get those wee bairs a-snoozing.  I used 
to just walk around for hours with the kid in my arms (as a teen babysitting
for the neighbourhood single moms)

 >  GP> “My favorite part of parenting is after I drop my kids off at school.
 >  GP> I’m kidding. It’s after they go to bed.” —@CallMeDraper

 >   As one commercial noted "Until they relax, I can't relax".

My wife & I sing the Staples Xmas ad jingle in September: "It's the most
wonderful time of the year. . ."

 >  GP> “Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps,
 >  GP> everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.” —Ray Romano

 >   Basically.

You know, eh? How many kids do you have?

 > ... Well, to be frank, I'd have to change my name.

I got a wrong number(she sounded cute) called in once asking for Heather, I
said, "I can be Heather for ya; how long do you need me for?"

She laughed & said, "sorry, wrong number."

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux