> Why God Made Moms Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the
 > following questions:

 > Why did God make mothers?
 > 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
 > 2. Mostly to clean the house.
 > 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

 > How did God make mothers?
 > 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
 > 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
 > 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger 
parts.

 > What ingredients are mothers made of?
 > 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in
 > the world and one dab of mean.
 > 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
 > string, I think.

 > Why did God give you Your mother and not some other mom?
 > 1. We're related!
 > 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

 > What kind of little girl was your mom?
 > 1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
 > 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty 
bossy.
 > 3. They say she used to be nice.

 > What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
 > 1. His last name.
 > 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk 
on
 > beer?
 > 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to
 > chores?

 > Why did your Mom marry your dad?
 > 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world And my Mom eats a lot.
 > 2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
 > 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

 > Who's the boss at your house?
 > 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof
 > ball.
 > 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
 > 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

 > What's the difference between Moms and dads?
 > 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
 > 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
 > 3. Dads are taller and stronger, but Moms have all the real power
 > 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your
 > friend's.
 > 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

 > What does your Mom do in her spare time?
 > 1. Mothers don't do spare time.
 > 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

 > What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
 > 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
 > plastic surgery.
 > 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

 > If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
 > 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of
 > that.
 > 2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did
 > it and not me.
 > 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of
 > her head.

You've heard of dad jokes? Here's some Mom jokes provided by actual moms:

"The two amounts of pasta I'm best at cooking: 1. not enough 2. enough for
3,000 people."
"It's spicy: universal Mom Code for 'I don't want to share.' "
"I'm homeschooling like that substitute teacher who rolls in the tv for a
movie and just eats snacks in the back of the class." @fruitsofmotherhood
"If I get through this quarantine without buying a tie-dye sweatsuit I can do
anything." @alyssalimp
"I love my kids. Not enough to flip the fish sticks halfway through cooking,
but I love them."

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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