Basics:
       It is your civic duty to report a crime to the police.
       You also have the right and responsibility to make a citizen's arrest.
       Thus, if you commit the crime, it would save tax dollars if you would
       make a Citizen's Self-Arrest.
1) Please obtain the proper forms from your local police department.
2) Fill in all of the blanks, if possible.
3) State the crime for which you are arresting yourself.
4) Paste a recent photo of yourself to the forms. If you don't have a recent
   photo, draw a rough sketch of yourself on a separate sheet of paper.
5) Read the following statement to yourself:
       "I am under arrest. I have a right to remain silent. Anything I say
       can and will be used against me in a court of law. I have the right to
       talk to a lawyer and have him/her present with me while I question
       myself. If I cannot afford to hire a lawyer, one will be appointed to
       represent me, if I wish one, before I question myself. If I decide to
       make a statement, I may stop at any time.
Further Instructions:
Do not leave your house. If you are not home now, go home immediately.
Put any firearms or other potential weapons out of reach.
Remove your belt and shoelaces.
If others are present at your home, send them away.
You are not allowed any visitors, but you may talk to yourself.
Conjugal visits are not permitted.
Consumption of alcohol or use of any other non-prescription drugs is not
permitted.
Do not attempt an escape, use all reasonable force to stop yourself.
Report any escape attempts promptly, by phone, to the local police.
Do not disturb any evidence present in your home.
Remain in your home until the police arrive.

Tom Rightmer - A Victims' Rights Advocate
... Batteries not included.
--- Blue Wave/DOS v2.30
---------------