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Hello Matrika , keep coming back...
Monday, 1 April 1996 17:40:00, Matrika wrote to All Subject: Feedback?
 M> recently started sponsoring another young woman with a life very
 M> similar to mine 
 So you will understand how she went against your wishes.
 M>  So she breaks my anonymity and tells her mom I am her AA sponsor
Initially Anonymity was held to be vital at the level of the Press,
Commercial Areas and all publicity to do with A.A.. This principle has
been extended way beyond its original intention to be the bone of
controversy and contention in many groups throughout the World - thus
actually damaging the Unity of the Fellowship for those of us involved
in 12 Step Work in A.A or indeed any Fellowship which has implemented
our original Programme.
What would a Loving, Caring God of your own understanding say about this?
Your sponsee broke her word, her breaking of 'her' word does not break
'your' word.....'you' said that you would be her sponsor. Is her
weakness to be allowed to break your strength or is her strength in her
weakness as The Man in the Big Big Book hinted....
        'in my weakness is my strength...'
 M> Now my husband had specifically told me that he did not want me to
 M> give her the number because her husband is chronic alcoholic and has
 M> drank so long that he may even have brain damage.
Are you working your programme for you or for your husband?
 M> I have worked in the field) As a result the family has constant
 M> "crises" that are really much ado about nothing. He doesn't want
 M> to be involved and specifically told me not to give out the number
 M> to them. Now what do I do? I have left a message on her answering
 M> machine saying I don't appreciate this, but I don't know how firm to
 M> be.
If your husband does not want to be bothered by this family and if they
are bothering him directly, he sorts his own problem out.
If this family are bothering you, you tell those members of that family
to stop it. You are only sponsoring one member of that family and this
one member is the only one you need ever be in contact with; it does not
matter that they all know as a family that you SPONSOR one of their
own. What does matter is that the situation is made clear to your
sponsee and to the other members of her family. Then you can be free to
make a decision upon their response to your clarifications and your
sponsee's acceptance that she more closely follows your suggestions at
least until she has completed her 12 Steps.
Best wishes,
Andrew.
.!. Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
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