TIP: Click on subject to list as thread! ANSI
echo: oz_humour
to: Paul Quinn
from: ceri{at}twmba.net
date: 2005-12-20 00:57:38
subject: Testing, testing... this is a test...

From: "Rai" 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------



PQ>  Beep!  Beep!  Beep!  This is a Test...
PQ>  This is ONLY a Test... 


Results Pass [] Fail [] 

 sorry been caught up with school end/holidays bits 

OB joke.. 

AUSTRALIAN BUREAU OF STATISTICS 

C E N S U S  -  9 AUGUST 2006 

WHY A CENSUS?
The Census is like a stocktake of our nation. That's why the entire nation 
stops while it happens. Not that anyone notices the difference. After the 
stocktake has finished, we'll throw out any damaged or soiled people, and 
have HUGE discounts on all of last season's fashions. 

COLLECTION AUTHORITY
The information asked for is collected under the authority of the Census and 
Statistics Prying Gestapo Privacy Invasion Act. 

CONFIDENTIALITY
None. 

WHEN IS THE CENSUS?
Census Night is Tuesday 9th August 2006. 

WHEN SHOULD THE CENSUS FORM BE FILLED IN?
Anytime really. Who cares? Just get on with it. 

1. AT WHAT ADDRESS DID THIS HOUSEHOLD SPEND CENSUS NIGHT? 

   Street no. and name:       273 Cataly St
   Suburb or rural locality:  South Wasteoftime
   City or town:              Melbourne
   Postcode:                  3188 

                      Person 1       Person 2      Person 3
                      --------       --------      -------- 

2. NAME OF EACH PERSON INCLUDING VISITORS WHO SPENT THE NIGHT OF MONDAY, 6 
AUGUST 2001
  IN THIS HOUSEHOLD. 

                      Arnold         Debbi         Annie
                      Psychopath     Collins       Psychopath 

3. SEX                 Yes            Yes           What?? You
                                                   mean those
                                                   two...?
                                                   Female. 

4. EACH PERSON'S AGE   32             17          Seventeen??
  LAST BIRTHDAY                                  I'll kill
                                                 him.  31. 

5. WHAT IS EACH PERSON'S RELATIONSHIP TO PERSON 1? 

                      PERSON 1       Lover       Ex-wife.
                                                 Potential
                                                 murder. 

6. WHAT IS EACH PERSON'S PRESENT MARITAL STATUS? 

                      Married        Never       Arnie! I'm
                                     married.    leaving!
                                                 About to be
                                                 separated. 

7. WHAT IS EACH PERSON'S USUAL ADDRESS? 

                      As in        Salvation     As from
                      question 1.  Army Hostel   tomorrow, my
                                   Melbourne     mother's. 

8. IN WHICH STATE OR TERRITORY IS EACH PERSON'S USUAL ADDRESS? 

   		       Vic            Vic         Arnold, you
                                                 bastard! Vic 

9. IN WHICH STATE OR TERRITORY WAS EACH PERSON'S USUAL ADDRESS ONE
  YEAR AGO? 

                      Vic            NSW         Vic 


10. WHAT WAS EACH PERSON'S USUAL ADDRESS FIVE YEARS AGO? 

                      Pentridge      Kings Cross   Prison? I
                      Prison,        Sydney        didn't know
                                                   Melbourne.
                                                   that! As above. 

11. WHERE WAS EACH PERSON BORN? 

                      United States  Dunno         Australia 

12. WHEN DID THE PERSON FIRST ARRIVE IN AUSTRALIA? 

                      1968, when I   Dunno         What were
                      jumped ship.                 you in for? 

13. IS THE PERSON OF ABORIGINAL OR TORRES STRAIT ISLANDER ORIGIN? 

                      No             Dunno         I have a
                                                   right to
                                                   know! No. 

14. WHERE WAS EACH PERSON'S FATHER BORN? 

                      United States  Dunno         Who's this
                                                   little
                                                   scrubber you
                                                   brought
                                                   home? Italy. 

15. WHERE WAS EACH PERSON'S MOTHER BORN? 

                      United States  Dubbo.        Italy. You
                                     ummm          don't know
                                     Australia     all about
                                                   my parents,
                                                   Arnie. 


16. IS THE PERSON AN AUSTRALIAN CITIZEN? 

                      Yes            Yes           Yes. They
                                                   have CONTACTS. 

17. WHAT IS EACH PERSON'S RELIGIOUS DENOMINATION? 

                      Catholic       Evangelical   Catholic.
                                     Athiest       Like all
                                                   the Family. 

18. DOES THE PERSON SPEAK A LANGUAGE OTHER THAN ENGLISH AT HOME? 

                      Jive           No            Italian. I
                                                   just called
                                                   them, Arnie. 

19. HOW WELL DOES THE PERSON SPEAK ENGLISH? 

                      Well           Not well      Very well.
                                                   I'll get the
                                                   door. 

20. IS THE PERSON ATTENDING A SCHOOL OR ANY OTHER EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTION? 

                      N..argghh!!    Arnie?        No.
                      M..shit..      Arnie? Oh     Oh dear, who
                      arggh..        my God!       did that?
                                                   Let's throw
                                                   this form
                                                   out and get
                                                   another one,
                                                   eh? They
                                                   don't count
                                                   dead people. 

 

Rai
 ---
Just as easy as 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169 


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