* Originally By: RIC DUNCAN
 * Originally To: ALL
 * Originally Re: Another anti-gun site
 * Original Date: 27 Jun 96  22:59
 * Original Area: PR_NET
 * Forwarded by : Blue Wave/386 v2.30
While cruising the Internet....I found another anti-gun page.....
Unbelievable!! Check out the recommended sign below.
BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Invite the criminal in.....that's funny!!
-begin-
from the Safe Anti-gun Homes homepage.....
http://www.concentric.net/~peatea56/safe2.shtml
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Crime and the Gun-free Home
Introduction As part of a continuing public service effort, we are
planning a series  of seminars aimed at helping the members of anti-gun
households prepare for  crime, and to cope with its aftermath.
At present, our agenda is incomplete, but we are attempting to assemble
a staff of experts who  will be able to address the issues in a
competent fashion. Times and dates will  be announced at a later date.
If you are interested in any of the following seminars, please contact
us by e-mail. We'll be glad to help.
Seminar Topics
Preparing your home for burglary/home invasion. Today's burlars are
looking for items they can turn to cash readily. The last thing  you
want to have happen is to have the burglar become frustrated with the
quality of merchandise you have to offer. This seminar will let you
know how much cash to have on hand, what brands of TVs,  VCR, and
cameras will provide the criminal with the greatest degree of
satisfaction.  The seminar will also help you avoid those things, such
as safes, locks, and  hiding places that really piss burglars off.
Making your home safe for your unwanted guest. Technically, a burglar
is a tresspasser on your property. However, you do  have a duty to
prevent the burglar from unreasonable risk of injury while he/she  is
in your home. This seminar will help you identify conditions in your
home that could prove risky to the burglar. Remember, he/she will be
operating under much stress, and under low light conditions. The last
thing you want is to be  accused of placing booby-traps. And, acutally,
could you really live with yourself knowing someone was seriously hurt
or killed in your home. Just because a burglar is committing a crime
in your home, it does not mean that they deserve death or permanent
disability.
Turn the Other Cheek - the straight male homeowner's guide to sexual
assault. There was a time when burglars just wanted valuables. Now,
many home invaders seek to humiliate their victims as well. Homosexual
rape is becomming quite common during home invasions and other violent
crimes. This seminar will help the straight male homeowner survive,
and cope with sexual assault. Topics covered will include  what sex
acts you will be expected to perform on your assailant, and the types
of sex acts he will perform on you. Methods on feigning enjoyment, and
suppressing the gag reflex will be covered as well.
"Mommy, has Spot Gone to Heaven?" Pets, unfortunately, are subjected to
considerable abuse at the hands of home invaders. Often, children are
forced to watch their pets being beaten, disemboweled, or even skinned
alive. This seminar will teach parents methods of coping with their
kids' grief over the loss of their pet. The theme of this seminar will
be that parents must convey the fact that the killer of their pets was
not a bad person, but probably an unloved person in need of
understanding and sympathy.
"Why those men did those things to Mommy" Forced sex has become almost
routine during home invasions. Children are often forced to watch
their mothers, and even their fathers, have sex with the intruders.
This seminar will attempt to help parents explain to their kids what
the various sex  acts were, and why their parents engaged in these acts
with the home invaders.
Don't forget, they are human beings. The purpose of this seminar is to
help victims erase any anger resulting from their  experiences. Victims
must realize that their assailants are human beings, and no  matter
what crimes they have committed, armed violence on the part of the
homeowner is unacceptable.
Live in a gun-free home? Want to ensure the highest level of safety
during a home invasion? Be sure to check out our model for a sign you
may place on your property.                                   |
                                                              |
                                 |--------------------------- |
                                 |
                            Warning Sign
NOTICE! This home is UNARMED Plan on breaking into our home? Don't be
afraid, you are in no danger! Unlike our paranoid NRA-member
neighbors,  we have no guns and we will not try to hurt you! Please
keep in mind the following:
Avoid injury to yourself! Don't break any glass or use a crowbar to
pry open our doors or windows! Simply ring the doorbell, and we will
let you in!
Don't waste your valuable time ransacking our home! Just ask, I will
show you where things of value are!
Would you like to meet the wife and kids? They're upstairs cowering in
the back bedroom! Please excuse them if they appear to be ungracious
hosts. They're as much victims of Reaganomics and this classist
society as you are! Newt has brainwashed them, they don't feel
your pain!
Please don't hurt us! We belong to HCI and know that most burglars
only want valuables and don't injure their victims. We hope that you
are in that majority! If you must hurt us, we understand your need to
vent the frustration caused by living in such an unjust society. We
will obey you and submit to whatever punishment you feel we deserve.
But please, do not do anything to me, my wife, or my kids that would
damage major organs or inflict permanent disability. We are planning to
go to Disneyland in the Spring and we'd lose our deposit if we had a
prolonged hospital stay!
If you plan to kill us, please, let's sit down and talk about it first.
We know that you grew up in a home that didn't have V-chips installed
in its TVs. Your desire to kill us is probably just the urge to play
out some fantasy you saw on television. Let's talk! We even know a
great therapist who counsels oppressed peoples free of charge! But, if
you must kill us, please don't do it in the living room. My wife and I
have willed the Oriental Rug to my sister, and she would just throw a
fit if it became stained.
God, I hope you can read.
We provide this model sign as a community service, free of charge to
anyone who wants to use it. If you have any comments, or suggestions
on how we can make this sign more effective, please let us know by
filling in your comments in the space below!
-end antigun liberal garbage-
replies can be left at http://www.concentric.net/~peatea56/safe2.shtml
-!-
 þ OLX 2.2 þ One man with a gun controls a hundred men without guns!
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 ! Origin: TEXAS PATRIOT - (214)495-6699 PRN Dallas TX (176:200/200)
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