From: Dragon lite 
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The Zen of Sarcasm ~ LOL

01.  Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave
me alone.

02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

03. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

04. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

05. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else

06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet

07. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their
shoes.

09. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

10.    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day . Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day

11.  I f you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably a wise investment.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it
back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and
it holds the universe together.

18.   There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works

19.  Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving

20.  Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21.  Never miss a good chance to shut up.

                                  AND
   
22.  Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night.



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Sometimes you have to go out on a limb to turn over a new leaf

Don't trust his words, trust his actions.


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