[May 28, 97 - 06:10] Walter Five of 1:106/7315 wrote to Jerry Schwartz:
WF> that. It sounds to me as if your son's alienation towards "The World" 
WF> (including the two of you) has caused him to embrace amoral behaviors.
WF> Now, it's hard to say, with the little that I hear, what his problem 
might 
WF> be, but if he *knows* what he's doing, but does it anyway, then he's not 
WF> getting the proper motivators for right-thinking and right-behaviors. He 
Motivation seems to be where the problem lies.  In essence, he cannot be 
motivated by anything more than a few hours in the past or future.  A 
punishment yesterday, a reward tomorrow, may work - but a reward last week or 
a punishment next week will not.
WF> doesn't understand that these things are in themselves their own reward.
WF> He probably feels persecuted (a common enough feeling for ADHD'ers) no 
WF> matter *what* he does or doesn't do. Unfortunately, the lifting of the 
Well, my belief is that he dissociates himself from what happens to him: the 
rewards, the punishments are things that happen to him rather than things he 
brings upon himself - like being hit by lightning or finding money in the 
street.  If you force him to, he can dredge up the real explanation; but he 
really doesn't believe it on an emotional level.
    "Why can't you go to the movies today?"
        "Because I stole money from you."  "Can you drive me to 
the mall?"
WF> *perception* of persecution is much harder than the actual *lifting* of 
the 
WF> persecution (although that's hard enough). Stealing is a sign of 
rebellion.
WF> Unfortunatley, it's not a very healthy one. The green teeth and 
non-bathing 
WF> are actually healthier, in that other than offended olifactory glands, he 
WF> harms no one other than himself. Of course, it won't help towards better 
WF> socialization skills, or make him any happier in the long run.
I've considered all of that endlessly, but unfortunately it doesn't help.  
Even if I had a perfect understanding of why he does what he does, I seem to 
be powerless to influence it.
Jerry Schwartz
--- Msged/386 4.00
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