-=> JIM WELLER wrote to DAVE DRUM <=-

 DD> I'm not much for cocktails. Much prefer a shot of good quality
 DD> "sippin' liquor" .... be it Bourbon, Scotch, brandy, tequila, etc.

 JW> Fine sipping liquor is like a prime steak grilled to perfection and
 JW> served without condiments.

 JW> A finely crafted cocktail made with cheaper liquors is like a
 JW> hamburger dressed up with bacon, mushrooms and cheese. Different
 JW> but also delicious.

 JW> There's room on my table for all four of these things.

And an umbrella.

Different steaks for different folks. Some people like their coffee (or
tea) with cream and sugar - I prefer mine straight up.

I eat my steaks with salt and pepper. If you see me reach for the "steak
sauce" you can bet your last tuppence I'll never order a steak at that
venue - ever.

Your tarted up hamburger is appropriate, though. A hamburger is, after
all, an LCD steak.

MMMMM----- Recipe via Meal-Master (tm) v8.06
 
      Title: Diner Steak Burger
 Categories: Beef, Sandwiches
      Yield: 6 Servings
 
      1 lb Beefsteak; ground, no more
           - than 20% fat
           Oregano & basil; mixed,
           - crumbled
      6    Standard hamburger buns;
           - seeds optional
      6 sl Onion; 1/8" or less thick
      6 sl Red, ripe tomato
           Dill pickle chips
      6 sl American cheese; opt
      6    Leafs iceberg lettuce

MMMMM-------------------------CONDIMENTS------------------------------
           Salt & Pepper
           Yellow mustard
           Mayonnaise
           Catsup
           Steak sauce
 
  Divide ground steak into 6 equal balls. Flatten into
  patties between two sheets of wax paper or plastic wrap.
  Make patties slightly larger than the diameter of the
  bun.
  
  Heat a large skillet over medium heat. Put a pat of
  butter on the skillet and lay a patty on top of it.
  Sprinkle a pinch of the oregano and basil mixture on
  top of the meat. Place a small ice cube on top of the
  patty and cover with a lid that will fit inside the
  skillet and over the burger. Flip patty over only once
  during frying, fry (medium) only long enough for juices
  to start running clear. Over cooking will toughen and
  dry the meat.
  
  Using a standard size bun; on the top half of the sliced
  bun, add 1 slice tomato, next 1 thin slice onion, then
  one leaf of lettuce and the pickle chips (slice of
  American cheese is optional,) finally the still hot
  cooked patty and other half of the bun, turn burger to
  right-side-up, add a handful of potato chips and one
  wedge of a dill pickle (if you don't want to use the
  pickle chips on the sandwich) to the plate.
  
  Condiments on table should be, salt and pepper shaker,
  mustard, ketchup, mayonnaise and steak sauce.
  
  Makes 6 sandwiches
  
  Uncle Dirty Dave's Kitchen
 
MMMMM

... It was a fancy restaurant with, like, real plates and stuff.
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