Hi, James!  Recently you wrote in a message to Ardith Hinton:

JB>  I trust you've noticed my spontaneous title liberties?


          Yup.  I'm taking similar liberties with the sequence here....  ;-)



JB>  I just told my Dr. that "I can deal with the pain. I'm
JB>  used to it." He still felt it was necessary to give me
JB>  more anti-convulsants to address the pain signals. 


          Possibly to avoid further damage to your hip & to other
joints?  In my experience, pain in a hip (or knee or ankle) often results
in an altered gait... i.e. a conscious or subconscious attempt to reduce
pressure on the painful joint which could have detrimental effects
elsewhere.  Anti-convulsant/muscle relaxant drugs may help where muscle
tension is contributing to the pain.  If you can get the same effect
without drugs, I think that's wonderful... but you need a doctor who is
open to the idea of using alternative strategies & who will take the
time to explain why he or she prefers to treat the problem in a certain
way.  Not all doctors volunteer such information because not everybody
wants to know....  :-))



AH>  Give yourself a gold star for objective reporting....  ;-)

JB>  Who... ME? 


          Yes, you!  You acknowledged that you had received the information
from a third party & reserved judgement on your classmate's recent
behaviour....  :-)



JB>  The source was rather trustworthy, but it's not above
JB>  the most level headed person to instill their own bias.


          Exactly.  I can't help wondering whether your classmate was
expressing various "negative" feelings openly for the first time,
and whether he could have survived if he'd been able to work through them
earlier.  I see his behaviour as a stage in recovery from all sorts of
things, not just from cancer... a stage in which a person may have realized
there's a lot of pent-up anger to be dealt with but doesn't quite know yet
what to do with it.  An observer who had little or no background in the
subject might consider such behaviour unhealthy... as the term "guilt
trip" seems to imply.  I don't know for sure what was going on.  I
wasn't there either.  And I might react differently if a friend was blaming
me....  ;-)



JB>  In that moment, in a round about way, Ronnie told me exactly
JB>  how some opinions can stink, or can smell like honey.


          Uh-huh.  He was willing to admit to not understanding... and as
far as I'm concerned that's to his credit, although others may regard it as
a weakness. If a person tells me they don't understand something I
generally take that as an indication they're open to learning more &
I'm glad to help.  If they respond to the same thing by telling me I'm a
neurotic, overprotective mother (or whatever) I take that as an indication
they probably understand less, but aren't ready for further input at
present.  I also feel they're trying to change me into somebody else... and
I resist such attempts.  I'm more amenable to change when others are
prepared to meet me halfway.  I imagine that's a fairly common reaction....
 :-)



JB>  Sometimes, a flower grows through pavement. <-;


          Yup....  :-)



AH>  I'm not suggesting I can work miracles all by myself

JB>  On the other side of the coin, maybe you sell yourself
JB>  short? 


          Could be!  And there's another thing I like about you.  Not only
do we both see the other side of the coin, but you also beat me to it
sometimes.  :-))



JB>  But come the triple-oomph, it's not in our hands any more.


          Uh-huh.  "I've done what I can... now it's your turn!" 
I think we may need to indicate our readiness to accept input in these
situations as well.  :-)




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+