In a message to Barbara Shafferman, Michael Nellis wrote:
BS> When my writer's group was newly formed--about six or seven years ago--
BS> we were all women. A man (probably the most experienced and most
BS> published of all of us) asked to join. [...]
BS> Now these were all generous spirited, intelligent
BS> women, most of them with views far more liberal than mine, but they all
BS> felt that men tend to take over and this lone specimen would somehow
BS> disrupt the entire group.
MN> They were probably right.  All part of that male/female
MN> psychological difference thing.  Us men are more straight forward
MN> about taking charge and very bull-headed about the perogatives of
MN> being in charge.
It's not so much a matter of being straightforward; it's involuntary.  Even a 
non-chauvinist with the best will in the world, finding himself in a 
situation with women and no other male to compete with, will _be_ in charge.  
As long as he's got a nanogram of testosterone in his bloodstream he has no 
choice.  Of course, if he _is_ a man of good will, any woman can easily 
displace him with very little effort.  Nevertheless, the fact that men assume 
being-in-charge as the default position can be off-putting, as can the male 
attitude that anyone should be "in charge" at all.
MN>  Which is probably why a man who is lost doesn't
MN> stop and ask for directions.
If a man has to ask directions -- or any kind of help -- he loses the 
encounter.  Men are programmed to compete because status in the pack or tribe 
is determined by each male's win/loss ratio.  Civilized men are immured to 
losing encounters to plumbers, auto repairmen, and so forth, but they still 
have an instinctual need to avoid losing encounters whenever they can.  
Asking directions is just about the easiest losing encounter to avoid.
MN> I keep several maps around the house so I can look up any street I
MN> haven't been to or I'm not sure of the exact location so I don't
MN> have to ask for directions, but I will not stop and ask for
MN> directions to save my life.
Especially if you take the precaution of checking a map.
       Cheers,
           Rich
http://www.netside.net/~rveraa/
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