KETIRA  was thinking about HOLD IT. and keyed into cyberspace:
OK, I am holding it. How about you?
K>-=> Mark Probert said *this*?
K> MP> KETIRA  was thinking about Re: Punishment and keyed into
K>cyberspace:  
K> K>I agree with you, and I *know* it works.  How?
K> MP> Well, I do not agree with that idiotic statement. It demonstrates
K> MP> a  total lack of knowledge of what ADHD is, and it perpetuates
K> MP> the old  wives tale that ADHD is the result of poor parenting.
K> MP> ADHD is physiological. IOW, it is part of the hardware, not the 
K> MP> software.
K>I KNOW THAT AS I AM ALSO ADHD!  
 
K> K>I've seen it myself with my best friend's daughter.  She's hyper
K> K>--I can tell just by hearing some of the things she does.  Jaime
K> K>(this kid) does some of the things *I* did at that age.  But take
K> K>the child out in public... and she is one of the best well-behaved
K> K>kids out there.   
K> MP> The the kid is NOT ADHD. ADHDers cannot turn it on and turn it
K> MP> off  depending upon where they are. They are ADHD morning, noon
K> MP> and night. 
K>Oh, she's still hyper --just better behaved in public then she is at
K>home.  Why don't I email you her mother's phone number so you can get
K>the WHOLE story?
Why didn't YOU post the whole story? Anyway, ADHD kids are not "better 
behaved" in one environment than another. They do not turn it on and 
off.
K>Her mother was ADHD as well, but she spent *her* extra energy on
K>horseback, and *grew out of it* --as some kids do-- at age 9.  We
K>expect Jaime to go the same route.
It is not "extra energy". It is hyperactivity. 
The "grow out of it" myth has been debunked. Some kids learn to cope 
with it better. Others never do. As for expecting Jaime to go the same 
route, don't. It is totally unpredictable.
K>Why are you accusing without hearing the whole story?
I responded to what you wrote. Why didn't you post the whole story? 
K> MP> And a beaten child. A shame.
K>NOT ALL THE TIME.  Spanking *sometimes works* -- it did for me, and if
In another post you mention that you are in therapy and that you learned 
fear. If that is "what works", no thanks.
K>my friend wants to raise *her* child that way, well, that's *her*
K>perogative. I just wanted to show that discipline *does* work if
Beating a child is not HER perogative. The child is not a "possession" 
but a human being.
K>properly used.  We ADHDers need *more* of it than most --including
K>ADDults.  
Bullshit.
K>That child, overall, is a *very happy child* who loves her mother and 
K>makes everyone laugh with her giggles.  Who are you to judge whether
K>the child is happy or not?  You're only going on my words alone -- go
K>TALK to Jaime and her mother.
Of course I am going on your words alone. It is all that you have given 
us. Do not expect to post something and have everyone agree with what 
you said.
K> K>It works, if the parents are willing to work with the child and
K> K>explain *why* the rule is there.  (and have patience while doing
K> K>so. :) 
K> MP> Fine explain the rule. Set limits. Have a consequence for going
K> MP> beyond the limits. However, to move from no punishment to beating
K> MP> the child is absurd. You give up so much. And the vast majority
K> MP> of parents are  willing to work with the child.
K>When did I say that *I* was taking care of Jaime?
I was using the generic "you".
She's is *my
K>friend's daughter*, not mine.  I don't have children --yet.  I treat
K>this child as she were one of my nieces - with a lot of love and a lot
K>of  patience.  When did I say that the situation went from setting
(Continued next message...)
                   ===>Mark Probert<===
                   mark.probert@juno.com
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