-=> Quoting MARK PROBERT to KETIRA <=-
 MP> KETIRA  was thinking about Re: Punishment and keyed into cyberspace:
 
 
 K>-=> Jf Hoppman said *this*?
 
 K>...
 K> JH> think that if PARENTS WOULD CONTROL THEIR CHILDREN,THE CHILDREN
 K> JH> WOULD LEARN TO Control THEM SELVES(not the answer to world peace
 K> JH> ,but hey!it is a start..)
 
 K>I agree with you, and I *know* it works.  How?
 MP> Well, I do not agree with that idiotic statement. It demonstrates a 
 MP> total lack of knowledge of what ADHD is, and it perpetuates the old 
 MP> wives tale that ADHD is the result of poor parenting.
 Yes too many people still have this belief it is all the parents fault,
 or upbringing.  It is not and I really get sick of the implication.
 MP> ADHD is physiological. IOW, it is part of the hardware, not the
 MP> software.
 Yep, it is like my computer.  My pentium chip is the older one and cause
 so many problems.  Just because it is a pentium doesn't mean it works
 properly.  Windows 95 does the best it can with it, but it still has
 problems.
 K>I've seen it myself with my best friend's daughter.  She's hyper --I
 K>can tell just by hearing some of the things she does.  Jaime (this
 K>kid) does some of the things *I* did at that age.  But take the child
 K>out in public... and she is one of the best well-behaved kids out
 K>there.   
 MP> The the kid is NOT ADHD. ADHDers cannot turn it on and turn it off 
 MP> depending upon where they are. They are ADHD morning, noon and night.
 
 K>You see, her Mom has "laid down the law", so to speak, and is willing
 K>to discuss things when Jaime breaks a rule the *first* time.  But
 K>after the second time...... that Mom starts counting to 10.  If she
 K>*reaches* 10, Jaime gets a spanking.  (So far, I've heard her count to
 K>8 before Jaime settled down.)  Mind you, this is a *wonderful* child;
 K>she's a giggle-box and laughs at most things.  Once she gets
 K>going..... well, it's hard *not* to join in with her giggling.
 MP> And a beaten child. A shame.
 
 I sure don't want to get into this one.  A spanking to an ADHD child
 would not work anyways.
 K>It works, if the parents are willing to work with the child and
 K>explain *why* the rule is there.  (and have patience while doing so.
 K>:) 
 MP> Fine explain the rule. Set limits. Have a consequence for going beyond
 MP> the limits. However, to move from no punishment to beating the child
 MP> is  absurd. You give up so much. And the vast majority of parents are 
 MP> willing to work with the child.
 It seems that the public, does not understand this matter.  I will not go
 into spanking as the moderator has called it an inappropriate discussion,
 but I do myself believe violence creates violence.
 Regina
... All I need is a Wave and a board to surf it on.
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