I know what you're thinking, "Is this the Onion?"
Nope. These right-wingers are dead serious. No matter how stupid they
sound.


The eager young men at Conservapedia are p.o.'d that the Bible might be
seen as too liberal. So they've come up with the Wiki-style Conservative
Bible Project, to make sure the Lord doesn't go all wobbly on us.
Excerpt:


As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible
which satisfies the following ten guidelines:

* Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that
enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal
bias

* Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and
other modern emasculation of Christianity

* Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the
intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only
the 7th grade level

* Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative
terms as they develop; defective translations use the word
"comrade"
three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which
have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and
"miracle"

* Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms
for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast
lots"; using modern
political terms, such as "register" rather than
"enroll" for the census

* Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and
effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell
or the Devil.

* Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic
parables with their full free-market meaning

* Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted
liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story...

http://blog.beliefnet.com/crunchycon/2009/10/conservatizing-the-
bible.html

--- Xnews/5.04.25