BL> When I want abuse and a total lack of respect, I get it from
 BL> the kids at Westfield shopping mall.

 ALM> You'll always be my hero, Bob.

  Shucks.

  It's a good thought, though, isn't it? Jeez those kids around the
Mall are creeps! They ought to be doing something useful... like
masturbating.

  I've got a world-famous ulcer, too. They're having me in Women's Day
with Dr Rick and Ch9's Good Medicine with Dr Prick, next month...
assuming I can remember my name when they point a camera at me. If
I freeze up, they might have to show me nodding a lot. The shoot's
on Tuesday (I know all the technical terms). I'll be famous... 15
seconds of fame on TV, and my picture in a women's magazine. Wow! I'll
be a real hit up at the pensioner's club. Women's Day today, tomorrow,
a Penthouse Pet! As long as it's artistic... and not too much hair.

  They're doing a bit on the new ulcer breath test... the one Rod
Speed told everyone I didn't know anything about. I'm glad my ulcer
didn't believe him; it thinks everyone in Griffith is on pot.

  The people running these magazines and TV shows are lovely little
girls who believe anything you tell them. One asked me the worst thing
about having an ulcer and I told her I couldn't drink soft drink...
I'd been forced to drink beer. I thought that was a really good joke,
but she agreed how awful it was. ROFL!

  I'll tell the next one I can't eat roast lamb dinners, and have to
go out with Tom Cruise.

  The doctor cured my ulcer and he asked me if I'd noticed any
improvement, so I told him it was terrific - I'd could eat a pound of
peanuts. "No one can eat a pound of peanuts!" he said, and rabitted on
about some chemical they excrete, so I told him he must be a better
doctor than he thought. It's true. I can eat a pound of peanuts. I ate
one yesterday... a pound, that is. It made me as crook as a dog! 

Regards,
Bob
___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12
@EOT:

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