From: Dragon lite 
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  A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's restroom stall. 
By Shannon Popkin 
  
 My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does
it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in the library,
the grocery store or at a drive-thru window.
 

People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old.
And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully
cranked. There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished the
meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but
never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.
Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me
into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the restroom that
evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the 
last stall:  

'Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the
potty, Mommy? 
Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? 
Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?' 
At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the
bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe we
could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this
stall and reveal my identity.
Cade continued, 'Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good
girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? 
Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh ... Mommy! I'm trying to see in dere. 
Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!' 
I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me.
Where is a screaming 
new born when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting
embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting.
Trying to divert him, I said, 'Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see
if you can find some candy We'll both have some!' 'No, I'm trying to see
doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!' He started to gag at this point. 'Uh
oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me
frow up!! Dat is so gross!!' 
As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly
flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with
myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four
flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this
embarrassing monologue will be long gone. 
'Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going
stinkies! Get up! Get up!' He grunted as he tried to pull me off.
Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door. 
'Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What
were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?'
More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation. 
'Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy.' 
He started pounding on the door. 'Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands?
I want to go out!!' 
I saw that my 'wait 'em out' plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the
door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies crowded
around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud. My first thought was
complete embarrassment, then I thought, 'Where's the fine print on the
'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my dignity and
privacy?' But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed 
bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all
away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.  
 (Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She lives with
her family in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where she no longer uses public
restrooms)
 








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Sometimes you have to go out on a limb to turn over a new leaf

Don't trust his words, trust his actions.
       
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