RG> pros not wear helmets? Is the helmet the solution 
 RG> to cyclist's problems? Should we stop there and 
 RG> have knee, shoulder, elbow, shin, etc pads as well? 
 RG> This may sound silly, but where should it end? I'm 
 
We should all be surrounded by a cocoon of polycarbonite reinforced titanium, 
with explosive deployment airbags at each joint.  There should be at least 70 
pounds of bullet proof material to protect us from people with illegal 
firearms.  We need the helmets to have much greater cushioning material, 
perhaps 7 or 8 times wider than what is used now.
The teeth should be protected by the same device used by heavyweight boxers.  
The face should be encased in a hockey mask with a substrate of crushed cell 
foam rubber and a surface consisting of 15 centimeter thick styrofoam with a 
shell of kevlar.  The space suit should be both water proof and fireproof, 
should withstand pressures to 12 atmospheres and have an integral halon fire 
suppression system with the control lines protected by aircraft-grade circuit 
breakers (not fuses).  Of course, the cooling system and electrical conduits 
in the spacesuit must be shielded by auto-racing style braided aluminum 
(coated with PVC wraps to prevent any neurotoxic reaction caused by momentary 
contact with the rider's skin).  Hands must be protected with OSHA certified 
welder's gloves.
A VHF/Marine radio and cell phone with 911 quick dial is a must, and should 
be required by law, as should be the GPS sattelite transponder.
A full medical first-aid kit must be an integral part of what every bike 
rider wears, including a supply of insulin, electrocardiogram equipment, 
defibrillator, and trachea-tubes.  Naturally, any bike ride near water will 
necessitate a regulation SCUBA system be installed.  At high altitudes, an 
Air Force approved parachute and altimeter must be included.  
  
The world is so dangerous, in fact, that we are now requesting that 
pedestrians as well as cyclists be required to wear the above mentioned 
safety equipment.  Only by being 100% safe can we be truly happy, for to take 
a risk is to lose.
 
Anyone failing to follow these safety procedures will be subject to 
detainment, arrest, torture, and summary execution.
--- Maximus 2.02
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