*** Quoting Cindy Haglund from a message to Carol Shenkenberger ***

 CS> Wierds me out there.  The Japanese here sit crosslegged.  They do that
 CS> in Okinawa too.  This guy, has to be a northerner and some traditions
 CS> arent matching up.  What I see is you start on the knees, then flip
 CS> back and forth as the knees get tired.

CH>  Thanks! You know I have 'considered the source' on this site. It's
CH> written up by the state gov'ment in Maryland. It's actually aimed at
CH> businessmen. I got the feeling this article is a bit stilted. I'd
CH> rather find something written from /by someone who actually lives in
CH> Japan. Like you for exanmple! :)

Hehe ok.  The parts I didnt comment on, were pretty much accurate.  On the
knee ¨sitting, you can tell that's a bit off.  Try sitting that way for
long and ¨you'll see what I mean.  Yes, they do 'start' that way but I've
not noted ¨people staying that way for more than 15 mins.

I *think* what I have observed seems accurate to normal behavior at least
in ¨southern Japan.  The 'host' (elder male) quietly shifts and then
slowly, the ¨rest do afterwards.  I believe it is rude to shift before the
'elder' does ¨without permission.  I *think* it's also a failure on their
part if you have to ¨ask as they are supposed to notice the comfort of
their guests.  It would not ¨be however at all rude to politely tell the
host if you have bad knees and ¨couldnt even comfortably start the meal
that way.  In fact, it would be rude of ¨the guest to not mention that as
you'd place your host at a disadvantage and ¨make him look bad.

Again, I live in the 'south'.  About 60% of the restraunts have only
western ¨seating.  The other 40% mostly have mixed seating with one area
'western' and ¨the rest normal.  My only trips to Northern Japan are to
Yokosuka (near Tokyo) ¨but I've never eaten out off the base there except
once or twice and they were ¨places within walking distance of the base. 
The airport and train station ¨spots are mostly western style seating but
not all. I cant say as i noticed ¨there how people were sitting at the
normal low tables though up north, sorry.

 CS> Yes on the chopsticks.  Try and they will just laugh *with you* when
 CS> you are inept and not mind at all.  Be aware though that in rural
 CS> areas or private homes, they may not *have* forks but they probably
 CS> have an asian spoon which you could get by with.  The amusement there
 CS> is only 'babies' have to use those and it's the kid's spoon you are
 CS> using.  (Bright grin, might be better to learn chopsticks but they
 CS> really will understand, just mercilessly tease you over it).


CH>  You remember that story I told of somewehre of a lady writing to Ms.
CH> Manners how to deal with her mother who insists (when eating in a
CH> Japanese restuarant) one must eat with chop sticks and that includes
CH> the ice cream/cake. Heh...  I bet the waitiers got a huge kick out of
CH> that scene.

True.  Oh, and the adults also use spoons for some things.  They will have
¨plenty of them in any house for use with soups or other things that
chopsticks ¨would be silly with.  It's only if the whole meal has to be
eaten with a spoon, ¨that it would cause giggles.  Understanding giggles,
but thats why they'd be ¨laughing a bit.

On a trip to Shimoda Japan, Black Ship Festival, I did a little cultural
¨exchange thing with a group of us who went to a Japan elementary.  We had
lunch ¨with the class and it was very interesting.  Thats how I found out
why the kids ¨giggled when one of us who couldnt manage chopsticks (he did
try! to gales of ¨giggles when he dropped everything).  

Oh, Japanese schools do not have 'lunch rooms'.  Instead, the students in
turn ¨bring all the food to the classroom and dish it out and you eat in
the ¨classroom.  All the kids have some assignment including the cleanup. 
I do not ¨recall if there was any difference between assignments among boys
and girls.

CH> interesting little dessert. A very delicate and pretty dessert. It'sa
CH> mandarin orange... the upper top peeled off, the fruit removed without
CH> breaking the rest of the rind. The bottom is cut off turned upside
CH> dwon into the intact rind, the fruit put back into it... You pick it
CH> out with a toothpick. It's so pretty! I'd love to watch them do this.

Sounds neat!  I havent seen that.  I'd have thought to pick it up and use
¨chopsticks but toothpicks would work too.

Here's another tip.  I am pretty sure southerners use their fingers more
and ¨are considered slightly uncooth up north because of it?  Cant say as
where I ¨learned that but we have all sorts of little bits of cultural
lessons here so ¨as to not accidently offend our hosts.  It's possible up
north, sushi would be ¨eaten with chopsticks.  Down here, it would vary
with the type.  Some are ¨easier handled with fingers.

If you think about how Americans vary with eating chicken breats on the
bone, ¨you can see what I mean.  Some will use their fingers, and some with
¨fork/knife.  I use my fingers .  OH!  In Japan, thats how they
eat ¨chicken but pick the meat off with your fingers and take it to your
mouth.  ¨Dont actually put the chicken breast up to your mouth and bite
pieces off. ¨Uncooth here.  Since that's how I was taught (pick the meat
off), we never ¨tripped over that one.

CH> "Domo arigato gozaimasu" = Thank you very much

 CS> All correct but the u is silent at the end of the word.  These arent
 CS> phonetic.

CH>  Ah okay. I mean to ask you this. In "Haratio" the
'tio" is pronounced
CH> And in any name with a 'to' on the end, it's 'toe'? And 'ito' is
CH> 'ee-toe'? Oh and Carol? What is sansi. I gather it's a form of addres
CH> as with '-san  at the end of someone's name.

Oh I am sorry.  I know the spellings of these words but am not good on
Japanese ¨spelling at all.

I think your 'Sansi' there might be sensei?  Very close phonetic relation. 
¨Sort of a 'toemaytoe/towmAwtow' thing going on.  Would mean 'elder'.  Only
in ¨english would it be needed to say 'respected elder' as the respected is
¨inplicit in Japan.  Teacher also relates.

Doe-moe areegawtoe gozeyemass.  Might not be perfect phoentics but I bet
¨everyone would understand it.

                                       xxcarol

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