TG>     I've been listening to Slic.  I discern some violence towards
TG> the beaurocrats we have in the Capitol.  Like Hitler, disarm the
TG> country Hitler, take control like Hitler.  Define who should live
TG> and who shal die. Silly women are in abundance,  carrier of Herpes,
TG> Ghonorea, and Genital Warts in front and rear.
TG> This sort of thing grows exponentially.
TG>
TG>     With all these things, I think may shake up the nation.
TG>     McVeigh can conceive most anything.  I am going to pray hard.
TG>     I invite you to join the Midnight Prayers.  This is serious.
TG>     Love,  we must pray.    Just Pray.
TG>
TG> - Aeolus v1.2.1 (#49820837)
           And in responce, the confession:
              From: MICHAEL TRACHTENBERG
   State of the Union Address Clinton Should have given
        "Members of Congress... people of America .... I banged her.
I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if
you  think  Monica  Lewinsky  was the only  skin flute  player in my
orchestra, you haven't been paying attention. The only babes in D.C.
I HAVEN'T tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, Albright, and Shalala,
mostly because they're a little  older than I like and they have legs
that former Houston Oiler Earl Campbell would envy. Which isn't to say
I don't appreciate Hillary...I do.  If not for the ice-water coursing
through her veins,  I'd be pumping gas  into farm equipment  in Hope,
Arkansas, and she'd be married to the President.  So, let me  set the
record straight.   I dodged the draft,  hid FBI files,  smoked dope,
flipped Whitewater property, set up a new Chinese wing in the White
House, fired the travel staff, paid hush money to Hubbell, sold the
Lincoln bedroom like an upscale Motel 6, and grabbed every ass that
entered the Oval Office.   Got it?   Good.
         Six years ago,  there was not a man,  woman,  or child who
didn't  know  I  was as horny as Woody Allen.  But,  you elected me
anyway, which turned out to be a good move on your part. Your other
choice was Bush, an aging baseball player and part-time resident of
some place called "Kennebunkport" who thought he could bomb his way
into the White House. Before him, it was Reagan, who left the office
with the same Alzheimer's he came in with, and left the country with
the biggest deficit ever. Then there was Carter before him who brought
you a 17% prime interest rate, smiling the whole time like his lithium
drip had just kicked in.   Nixon before that coined, but never really
understood, the concept of 'plausible deniability,' and got a one-way
ticket to San Clemente for his crackerjack style of governing. Johnson
was an inbred,  power-mad  war criminal  whose major  contribution to
American society was Agent Orange. And John Kennedy, who was a little
naughty himself,  didn't  hang around long enough for America to spot
that curious atavistic tic for "beaver- wrestling" shared by at least
a dozen former residents of the White House.
         Which brings me back to my point. Since I have been strumming
the banjo  here at the White House, government is doing more for less.
The budget is balanced for the first time since JFK did a one gun salute
to Marilyn,  a fact  the press didn't seem  to care  about,  evidently.
Unemployment is so low today  a blind felon  can get a job as a night-
watchman. The stock market is higher than a D-student on a full gram of
dumb-dust, and anyone with a degree from a junior college who can spell
'internet' has enough money to ponder the annual maintenance cost of his
boat, instead of where his or her next meal is coming from.
         Bottom line: I'm running a country here and I'm doing it with
my pecker showing. What I'm asking for is your support, not a date with
your daughter  ...  unless,  of course, she's a hotty with thin ankles,
and then I'd like to discuss it.   In the meantime,  think about where
you are today and what kind of life you're living,  before you get too
interested in where I'm parking the Presidential limousine."
       [Note - making the rounds unattributed - ed.]
          mtrac@juno.com -- Live from Wayne, NJ, USA
   * * Of all the people I have met, you are certainly one. * *
 * MegaMail 2.10 #0:    .  .  thanks  .  .  .  TOM GOODMAN  .  .
--- GOMail v1.2 [92-0303]
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