Hi, James!  This is the last chapter in the current series:

JB>  Sorry if you *are* a Laurence Welk fan, BTW. :-)


           No, I'm not.  And as I recall it was Eric Nagler, BTW, who
commented that the musically illiterate are the truly handicapped of this
world....  :-))



JB>  I'll take my father as an example. (Man, I feel like
JB>  I should be on a couch!   three times that the Laurence Welk show does not take
JB>  any risks at all, and every note, from every player,
JB>  on every song is designed to not create any challenge
JB>  to the listener.


           Yes, I think that's it in a nutshell.  Some folks prefer *not*
to be challenged where you & I might be bored out of our gourds.  I'm
reminded of the meeting at Nora's elementary school in which the principal
informed the parents there were five "cognitively challenged"
students in the school.  He was trying to be politically correct, while I
prefer to call a spade a spade.  Nora is one of the students he was
referring to... she has Down's syndrome.  I don't object to terms such as
"mentally handicapped" provided they're used in a kind but not
condescending way.  Neither does she.  And as I remarked privately at the
time, I believe every student in the school should be cognitively
challenged....  ;-)



JB>  I turned him onto a local radio station (CKUA: I think
JB>  you can "www" into it if you need a good soundtrack. It
JB>  might be "www.ckua.ab.ca", but more likely just a ".com")
JB>  that tends to push some bounderies. His car radio is only
JB>  off it when he gives others a ride, so I can't be too
JB>  tough on him in general.


           For over thirty years I drove a car which didn't have a radio,
and I never missed it.  One of the reasons, I think, was that my father had
the radio on all the time.  I got a few strange looks when I stopped at a
red light while belting out a tenor aria from MESSIAH, for example... but I
digress!  The stuff my father listened to was mostly hard rock or C&W,
and he did it because he was used to working in a noisy environment.  It
was "just noise" to him... or so he said... but evidently it had
to be his kind of noise.  One day, when were alone in the house, I decided
to try expanding his repertoire... just as you did with your father.  He
liked honky-tonk piano, so I played a recording of harpsichord concertos
& he tolerated that quite well because the harpsichord sounded like a
honky-tonk piano to him.  After awhile I was able to get him to listen to a
few baroque ensembles in which the harpsichord accompanied other
instruments.

           I suspect he was much like the students I used to get in grade
eight who swore up & down they didn't like anything but rock music. 
They didn't know anything else, for the most part... and they were afraid
of what was unfamiliar to them.  That's human nature.  So I expanded their
range a bit at a time, just as I'd done with my father.  I'm sure you've
guessed by now that I like baroque music.  I also like a lot of other
stuff, though, and I like to see people make informed choices.  I won't get
all bent out of shape if they prefer the updated version of such-and-such
to the one which was composed hundreds of years ago... in many cases, I do
too!  I don't expect everybody to share my own preferences. But in my
experience decisions based on fear are usually not good ones....  :-)



JB>  I think people in our situations have to remember
JB>  what life was like without the muck that we are
JB>  dealing with.


           Absolutely!  One way & another, we've been on a steep learning curve
... we may have behaved differently when we didn't know these things
either.  I get rather irritated with folks who finally figure out what I've
been trying to tell them for years, then act as if they knew all along
& everybody who doesn't know is stupid.  I certainly hope I'm not
making the same mistake now....  :-))



JB>  Until we do that, I believe we can never forgive
JB>  a person for behaving the way they do.


           Yes, I think it is important to be aware of our own
shortcomings.  I mentioned some canvassers who didn't notice the wheelchair
just inside the door
... together with many others!  People walk right past Nora's wheelchair to
get to our living room, then ask where her wheelchair is.  One way to look
at these situations is to take them as a compliment on my ability to hide
such things in plain sight & make them blend in with the background...
another is to recognize that I'm just as unobservant as the next person
sometimes.  Recently we visited a family in a situation not unlike ours,
and I didn't really notice the massage table in the living room at first
although we'd been told it was there....  :-)




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+