-=> Quoting Desiree Louvre to All <=-
 DL> Hi all...
 DL> I wonder if anyone has any suggestions for this problem we've been
 DL> having in regards to the way our 18 year old bosses around my 7 year
 DL> old who is ADHD.

Boy, does this sound familiar.  The main difference is that our teenager has 
ADHD.  What does Dad think about all this?  Has he sat down with your 18 yr 
old and made it clear that he needs to stay out of the middle of things?  
When Jesse (the 17 1/2 yr old) butts in when I am dealing with Kris (the 11 
yr old) I normally tell him calmly (or sometimes not ) that the situation 
is between Kris and me and that he is not invited into the middle of it.  
Then I ignore him and go back to Kris. Sometimes he doesn't get the "hint" 
and I have to tell him to leave the room until we are finished.  
Now I have found that Kris will sometimes try to get into the middle when I 
am disciplining Jesse.  When that happens I do the same thing...tell him that 
the situation is between Jesse and me and that he is not invited into the 
middle of it.  He is usually faster on the uptake than Jesse, but that might 
be because he is not ADHD.
We still have problems with Jesse getting bossy with Kris, but it hasn't been 
too bad lately as Kris has learned that he can tell Jesse to take a hike and 
then steadfastly ignore the verbal background noise.  He will also get up and 
leave the room and leave Jesse talking to himself.  
 DL> Any suggestions... other than kicking out the 18 year old. He's
 DL> planning on moving out with his girlfriend sometime in April (if the
 DL> relationship lasts that long), but in the meantime, he will still be
 DL> here throwing his weight around.
Again, it is hard for him to throw his weight around if you and your husband 
refuse to put up with it.  If you advise him that he must follow your rules 
if he wants to continue living at your house, would the 18 yr old move or try 
to behave?
I hope this helped...at least in letting you know that you are not the only 
one with this type of problem.  You will even find it in families without 
ADHD kids.  
Cheers,
Lucy Jameson
... Got to go! Dinner's fighting & the kids are burnin --- Blue Wave/QWK 
v2.10 
--- InterEcho 1.11
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