> quality.  You may think
 > you are being gracious when you approach a homeless
 > person to say that
 > you will help them with clothing and to get
 > employment.  On the surface
 > it looks good but in reality you are imposing your
 > view of value on them
 > without ever asking THEM what it is THEY wish or need.
 >  There is another
 > GOLDEN RULE that is rarely quoted: "Do unto others as
 > they would have
 > you do unto them."  It is one step beyond the more
 > familiar form of
 > doing unto others as you have them do unto you.  In
 > the first, you move
 > away from yourself and hiding your selfishness behind
 > a grand gesture by
 > actually discerning [or asking] the needs of another-
 > and giving him
 > THAT.  If you can't, then decline.  Better refusal
 > than "noblesse
 > oblige".
I agree fully with the asking part.  People's "discernment" tends to be 
confused with the having them do unto you, as unless you talk with a person 
extensively over a considerable period of time, you're unlikely to know 
anything about his values and priorities.
        >--->
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