On or about 12-02-05 21:26, Ardith Hinton did engage James Bradley

 AH>          We have Vancouver Parks Board to thank for getting us
 AH> acquainted with kayaking.  While they don't offer structured classes
 AH> or trips like what you've described, they know who does...
 AH> and there's an informal network of people who often turn up
 AH> at afternoon & weekend events.  A more regimented approach
 AH> might be advisable, however, on a ten-day trip with a group
 AH> of teenage boys....  ;-)

Oh... Don't get me started!  There were teenage girls there too.


 AH>          Ditto.  We were talking about the woman who got all bent out
 AH> of shape because a kid in a stroller noticed that she was in a
 AH> wheelchair.  The kid was in a stroller for the same reason
 AH> this woman was in a wheelchair... neither of them could
 AH> walk well, if at all, while others of the same age might
 AH> reasonably be expected to do so.  Without the orientation
 AH> firmly stuck in the 1950's this woman might have realized
 AH> we could relate to her problems.  We have no need to stare
 AH> at a wheelchair as if we'd never seen such a thing before.
 AH> I often wish other people would pay more attention, as a
 AH> matter of fact!  We've had several pedestrians collide with
 AH> Nora's chair because they didn't notice it... (sigh).

Well, just last week, I was stooping to examine a box on a shelf, where I
bumped into a person that was looking at an item on the other shelf. I hadn't
seen him, and he didn't see me. I trust you were talking to a more tangible
attempt at ignoring you-s?


 JB>  I keep tellin' the sister, if the person's intent is
 JB>  dark, how do you deal with that? If the person actually
 JB>  wants to improve, adapt, or at least get along in peace,
 JB>  that's where I prefer to be.


 AH>          Amen!  I guess it's the teacher in me... but if I see some
 AH> indication that a person is willing to learn, I'll be

I do need to sensitize myself to an unwilling student. I might not be able to
complain as much about wasting my breath, but that would be welcomed.

 AH> there.  I'd like to think we're all struggling toward the
 AH> light as best we can.  We can't be sure what is going on
 AH> inside another person's head, but one really has to wonder
 AH> at times... do they feel they get more mileage out of
 AH> collecting sympathy and/or complaining about how stupid,
 AH> ignorant, thoughtless & selfish they believe everyone else
 AH> is??  I have seen others fall all over themselves to please
 AH> someone like that....  :-/

I've been suggesting a show to my sister, called Little Brittan. In it, the two
comedians have a recurring skit, where a cousin is helping his wheelchair bound
cousin with an assortment of tasks. This fellow falls over himself to appease
the "disabled". Once his back is turned, the wheelchair bound
fellow springs to
his feet, and causes all sorts of havoc. As soon as his keeper starts to turn
his head back, plop back into the chair he goes.

They address EXACTLY the topic you mention, in my estimation. The one is as
dependant on the other, and it really turns the tables on who *is* disabled.
Exactly why there *has* to be scepticism in the health profession in my
opinion.


 JB>  If I step aside to let someone through, the abled walker
 JB>  often takes a step in hesitation. (Maybe ingrained to not
 JB>  put themselves ahead of the downtrodden???) I tell them,
 JB>  "Slow moving traffic takes the right lane." and wave them
 JB>  through. Hell, it can break up their day too, and their
 JB>  work environment seems a little more tolerable for the
 JB>  rest of their day. I still haven't heard a good comeback
 JB>  to that one.


 AH>          That's a great line... I love it!  When one is in
 AH> a wheelchair waiting to cross a busy street & there are
 AH> motor vehicles headed in all directions, the best way to
 AH> negotiate the crossing safely may be to wait for things to
 AH> clear up a bit.  We tend to wave people on ahead of us
 AH> through doorways as well....  :-)

Usually, in this hustle and bustle world, it's just a short "Slow moving
traffic." with a wave for them to go ahead. You may have an idea how frustrated
I get when a poser takes their sweet time crossing my vehicles path, where I
tend to wave a car through, and just point to the stick. If it's close, I'll
kinda skip across, in an attempt to not delay their progress as much as
possible.

 JB>  Lots of smiles though, and that's all that counts.


 AH>          Humour can be a wonderful teaching tool.  Hang in there....
 AH> :-)

...Or hang out? 

To turn a little more serious, maybe it's the humour that lets us deal with our
lot? Complain as I do about my family or friends, if they weren't able to take
a joke or a jab about one of their traits that deserves a prodding, I would
tend to avoid their company more than I do. Sometimes I do not know the most
appropriate time, or the ripeness of their accommodation, but joust I do.

I know this can make me a taxing person to be around, but like I just told dad
yesterday, in front of my cousin and her family, as well as most of my sisters
family, "You make such an easy target." I wasn't trying to
humiliate him with
the comment, or the comments that lead up to his perfunctory plea for sympathy.
Just my attempt for him to realize his halo needs polishing, when he would have
his niece think he can walk on water.

Without reading your expression, I can tell when I rib you about the tarnish on
your halo, you can rip on me for selling you faulty polish. But when someone
believes they are above reproach, that tends to get my goat. Luckily, every
awkwardness I had directly with any of my family in this holiday season was
either resolved on the spot, or presented in a light that made them think.

I can't say I have all the answers to every problem on the planet, but I think
the world would be a better place if people would put their ego aside long
enough to realize when they have their heads inserted, and how little elevating
their BP would help them in their extraction.

I know for a fact, the B-I-L was surprised when I said, "I don't
know." I have
to recognize that I'm a bit of a know-it-all, but I'd like to think I can lay
down my pride long enough to learn something new. Maybe everyone is not as open
to conflicting opinions as I would like them to be, and maybe I need to relent
more often.




... James
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