-> MSGID: 1:275/429.5 0c02e186
-> REPLY: 1:3666/501 82c35428
-> LORI HATHAWAY On (21 Jan 97) was overheard to say to DALE HILL
-> 
->  Hey Lori....
-> 
->  LH> However, when it comes to the younger student variety that Matt
->  LH> and I work with (i.e.age 13 under)
-> 
->  Just FYI...Matt Smith is not an educator of any student variety.  He
->  is a lawyer specializing, he has said, in collections.
-> 
->  LH> This just goes to say they accept placement of children after too
->  LH> brief explanations, apathetically or financially accept the
->  LH> control of where their child goes to school and then are furious
->  LH> when their child has discipline or educational problems in school.
->  LH> They are justified in some of this anger, but lack trust in
->  LH> judgement from experts in the system.
-> 
->  You seem to be saying two different things there... they are
->  accepting placement of their children. based on what if not some
->  degree of trust?
->  Yes..parents become angry when the perception, rightly or wrongly, is
->  that their child is being short changed or unfairly singled out.
-> 
->  LH> Maybe this is something that the school system needs to
->  LH> address.MEANING - be patient with explanations,
-> 
->  There is no maybe about it.  Schools do an extremely poor job of
->  communicating with parents and the community at large.  'THE' contact
->  point for most parents is a teacher, if and when that teacher for
->  whatever reason(s) is unable or unwilling to answer a question that
->  sets the tone for all future interactions.  It is extremely bad
->  practice and even worse PR for teachers, admins or school boards to
->  project an image of "we know best and this is what we _are_ going to
->  do".  I don't tell my doctor how to practice medicine but you can be
->  sure I demand (nicely of course) an explanation of where he is going
->  with any treatment plan he thinks the situation calls for...he
->  doesn't have a problem with this.  I find it just too difficult to
->  understand why so many educators assume an automatic defensive
->  (adversarial?) posture when they are questioned about what they are
->  doing and why.
-> 
->  LH> contact the parents more frequently, home visits.
-> 
->  In elementary school yes frequent contact is a good idea.  I exchange
->  notes with my son's teacher all the time and have had 3 "not
->  required" conferences so far this year.  It's a tougher nut than that
->  when you get to the middle and high schools...too many kids ... to
->  little time.  Fifty years ago home visits were not at all uncommon.
->  When I was still in the school system at least one home visit before
->  Thanksgiving was, while not a requirement, almost a necessity
->  especially if I had a "new" kid. (Special Ed).
-> 
-> 
-> ... Every person you meet knows something you don't. Learn!
-> 
-> --- PPoint 2.02
Bob -
Thanks for the correction, however, Matt has already straightened it
out.  He should be flattered to be considered in an educational field
(way he talks jargon) however, as you well know because of past history
and negative rhetoric regarding education in general we can't seem to
outgrow the bad rap!  Why is it that a few "poor communicators" either
in the past or present" means that ALL of us are poor communicators.
What I intend to say is that some parents do lack trust no matter what
is done for their child.  Doctors make mistakes in diagnosis or in their
directing of medical attention also - but many times people just aren't
aware of what questions to ask, nor do they try to educate their
knowledge by looking up information or receiving secondary advice.  I
say the same thing happens in education, since I know some terminology
threatens parents particularly in Sp Ed of which I am involved also.  We
write IEP's out painstakingly as we discuss our plans with parents while
they are sitting with us in our meetings, then ask for their input and
place that down also.  This includes how the parents wish for teachers
to change their behavior toward their child. Some parents then proceed
to continue to be unhappy because that new IEP is still unsuccessful in
changing child's school behavior.  We should be able to continue to
change this IEP modifying and building, however, many parents want that
quick fix - shot, antibiotic - to stop the child's difficulties.  Some
parents never accept learning disabilities or BEH dx and will defend
rather than support continued efforts to improve.  
Yes!  Communication does start with the teachers.  I contact all my
students at least once before Christmas and then at least twice
afterwards.  At least as middle school level students have learned to be
forgetful and not take it home.  This means repeated attempts to contact
parents by phone at work and at home.  Interestingly enough the
majority of my students this year have such disfunctional home lives
that we find the parents unreachable.  I have had parents whisper to
their student while I am on the line, tell them I just left.
This is disheartening to say the least.  I don't feel all this is
educators fault.  I feel that some families are so bogged down with
stress, jobs, and the inability to follow through with good parenting.
Some of our parents are children raising children and this, in my
opinion, is what is creating a blizzard of complaints toward the school.
 They feel school is a FIX.  We need to repair all ills.  We cannot and
do not do this!  You know that.  This does not stop me from continuing
to struggle with "why am I in this".  There are still wonderful parents
out there who take the time and are concerned.  
It is the parents who care, whose children suffer the most.  The average
to the above average survive.  However, it is the children who fall in
the cracks or have just recently tested out of Sp.Ed who need much of
our time.  We love seeing them succeed, but too many times are bogged
down with angry confrontations in conferences because in working with
these multitudes have missed something.  We are human and do make
mistakes.  Many times in conferences, a parent or two have stated that
because I am a teacher I am not allowed to.  Of course we regard where
the source comes from, however, how much stress does one have to take?
I also feel that administrators have become law suit frightened.  I
should address this to Matt, however, in replying to you I think maybe
you should have noticed this, especially in the past seven years.  In
our county we have had several against the school regarding attendance
policies of the state!  A few parents have discovered loopholes and
sympathy from one particular judge, regarding the RIGHT to take their
child out when and if they wish no matter how much they are missing.
Never mind the state law.  Why do they do this?  In my opinion it boils
down to selfish behavior.  Children raising children.
I am about ready to retire, and I will miss education.  I will probably
continue on in some part time aspect.  There are many rewards in
education to offset much of what we are talking about, and as an
educator you know what these things are.  However, in the 20 years I
have been staggering along doing my best to please I find the recent
changes very overwhelming.  I wouldn't change the concept of public
education for all for anything.  This is a wonderful part of America.
My husband and I have visited schools all over the world, even
Yugoslavia during Tito's last years.  We saw the Communist propaganda,
in Mexico we saw serious Castro propaganda, and in Germany we saw
students rigidly handled or should I say mishandled.  There were many
other problems overseas (not in military American schools), but in the
countries state schools.  Parents here in the US need to have the
opportunity to visit elsewhere to see just what is offered today.  Why
is America low on the totem pole for skills? Take a look at stricter and
more severe penalties which occur in other countries.  Take a look at
the no "say-so" policies in England, France and Spain.  The teenage
suicide problem in Japan has been proven to stem from stress in the
school system and work force.  Is this what America wants?
Yes, I agree, everyone you meet knows something you don't.  Sometimes
people need to see it for themselves to find out also.
Thanks for listening - but I still don't believe that we will ever
communicate (educators) properly, since our news is not always what
parents want to hear.  Communicating properly with parents must be
improved, but teachers have been battered about too long with negative
rhetoric.  Yes, we should be able to take it, but again how much does
one have to listen to, especially when it is unjustified.
A diehard!
Lori
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