-> -> Also I get a lot of strange looks when I tell people
-> -> raising kids is just like training an animal.  You have
-> -> to teach right and correct them when they screw up when
-> -> they are young or when they get older they will be out
-> -> of control.  If I raised my dogs the way some people
-> -> raise their kids I'd be knee deep in doggie poo and
-> -> covered with bites.  Then again if people raised their
-> -> kids like I train my dogs (and raise my kids) the world
-> -> would be a much better place.  IMNSHO of course ;).
->
-> DeB> It may be even as you say, sir.  Your children would be
-> DeB> well-disciplined--and likely the methods used would fester
-> DeB> subconsciously and reveal itself as so much inner resentment
->
-> Nope.
You must be using some method that is reassuring to the offspring if, as
you suggest, there is no negative response in the children at all.
-> DeB> later on. Discipline is wonderful for both children and
-> DeB> pets...and so is an abundance of overt love and affection.
-> DeB> Far too often, the two are not thought mixable.
-> Which is the same way you have to treat animals.  You
-> can beat kids or animals in to submission and they will
-> do what you want.  But only when you are there, when
-> you aren't they revert back.
You are saying that you enrich discipline with overt love and affection
then?  I do not want to presume.
-> Now I would hear them telling people about how well
-> their kid was doing in school and what a good kid he
-> was, never in any trouble.  You guessed it, when ever
-> he was out he was out of control.  He'd drive too fast,
-> he'd drink, he'd do drugs, he'd screw almost anything
-> that would let him (and at least one who didn't want to
-> let him which lead to a rape charge).
->
-> He finally self destructed.  It hit an overpass support
-> doing over 100 mph.  His family called it an accident
-> but I have always wondered if it was suicide.  [snip]
This is tragic; how old was the fellow at the time of death?  In some
ways I can empathize with the extreme behavior the fellow indulged.
Obviously trying to get his folks to notice, maybe find a way to reach
out.  No go, it seems.  Parents are either your best friends or your
greatest, most perilous enemies.  In my case, I set a goal.  I needed to
just endure until I completed high school.  That done, I was
straightaway out the door and on my own.  It is unfortunate the fellow
wasn't able to look to his future without his parent's direct influence.
But I can see that that kind of scenario can have life-long effects;
there seems ALWAYS to be authority figures wielding power and it is
effortless to fall back into the same patterns.  Ah well, I have no
remedy to offer except some empathy.
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