RA>I'm glad to hear he went peacefully, at home with his loved ones around
  >him.  I recently heard that most people in this country die alone and in
  >pain, which makes me very glad his family had the courage to stand up
  >against the medical profession and save him from that fate.
I'm glad they stood up to the medical profession too.  It helped that
they had the strong support of several friends.  I think it must be much
rougher for folks to stand up against the medical establishment if they
are feeling isolated.  Doctors can be an overbearing lot.
RA>From what you've said, it sounds like your growing up years were more
  >traumatic than mine and that you've handled your trauma better and
  >earlier than I handled mine.  I guess, though, that no matter how late it
  >comes, there is a time when one either has to start to heal from a trauma
  >or carry around the excess baggage the rest of one's life (or so it
  >seems).  I think that time varies from person to person.
I agree that the time varies from person to person.  And I don't think
there is any one reason why healing comes earlier or easier for one
person than another.  Part of dealing with our past comes from the
people we come in contact with who say and do the right things that help
us deal with our traumas.  I have a friend who went through an
absolutely awful childhood.  Her father died while she was very young.
Her mother was an alcoholic and a prostitute.  Her uncle sexually abused
her on a regular basis.  They often had no food in the house. She wore
ragged clothes to school. No-one loved her or wanted her.  She said the
beginning of the turn around in her life came when she was still a
child; and was an encounter of only a few minutes.  She was
downstairs looking for something to eat when her mother's "trick" of the
night before came downstairs.  She was young enough, however, that she
hadn't quite figured out what was happening with all these men passing
in and out of her life.  She looked up at the man, and asked, "Are you
going to be my father?"  She said the man stopped, and looked at her
with a strange, and pained expression.  "No," he said, "I'm not."  Then
he stopped and talked to her for a few minutes, talked to her as one
might talk to a lonely child.  The exchange only took a few minutes, and
she never saw him again.  But in that dialogue she realized she was a
worthwhile person, and began moving towards healing.  She says that her
memory of that man, which is a cherished memory, has convinced her that
even the most casual of encounters can bear great significance.
                         Sondra
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 þ SLMR 2.1a þ How to fly:  throw yourself at the ground and miss. DA
--- Opus-CBCS 1.7x via O_QWKer 1.1
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