On or about 12-06-05 20:35, Ardith Hinton did engage James Bradley

 AH>  I'm okay in salt water.  As for fresh water, I'm not
 AH>  sure yet.  :-))

 JB>  You need a sweat lodge, and quick dump into the Athabasca
 JB>  River. That'll 'freshen' you up in a hurry!

 AH>           Hmm.  I've been swimming in Howe Sound... that's
 AH> cold enough for me! What I had in mind there, though, was
 AH> that salt water is more buoyant....  :-)

I knew that was what you were going for, but I thought I'd spin the temperature
issue. Maybe English *is* fun after all. 


 AH>  "Look out, World... here comes Nora!"  ;-)

 JB>  Well, see? You were open enough to jump on the chance,
 AH>           Yes...

 JB>  and perhaps Nora's enthusiasm swayed your decision,
 AH>           Yes...

 JB>  where you met others just like yourself. Funny how
 JB>  your type tend to congregate in herds.


 AH>           That's what makes it a new experience... I'd never thought of
 AH> myself as a herd animal, but it's obvious there.  Whether

I wasn't comparing you guys to ruminant. I did want to emphasize how Dallas and
you are akin to trying yourselves with unfamiliar circumstances. You both rose
to the occasion, perhaps swayed by Nora's glee. Good on all o' ya all!


 AH> you are supposedly abled or disabled, you're part of the
 AH> group.  People recognize that you love to do what they love
 AH> to do, there's a mutual willingness to learn by doing...
 AH> and nothing else matters.  Besides, there's a lot of effort
 AH> involved in hauling a kayak to SomePlace Else & getting it
 AH> into the water.  What's another fifteen minutes if all a
 AH> person needs is a bit of help in order to join the fun??

That's what separates you from eternal pessimists. "...Mutual willingness to
learn by doing... and nothing else matters." Sounds like a Metallica song to
me! 


 AH>           As one of our friends remarked, we seem to be spending a lot
 AH> of time with people who are disabled (and/or with caregivers of same).
 AH> I must confess that I rather enjoy the supportive feedback we get
 AH> from folks who know whereof they speak... but I don't think
 AH> disability automagically makes a person better able to
 AH> relate to others.  What it does for them, and their nearest
 AH> & dearest, is to make the learning curve steeper.  Some
 AH> people rise to the challenge, and others don't.  I have no
 AH> desire to cultivate any further acquaintance with the woman
 AH> we met at McDonald's, for example, who threw me an icy
 AH> glare because I'd taken a mentally handicapped teenager
 AH> into a stall which she felt was reserved exclusively for
 AH> wheelchair users like *her*... or with the woman we met at
 AH> the theatre who kept knocking impatiently on the door of
 AH> the washroom Nora & I and her wheelchair were using because
 AH> her husband (older man with cane) wanted it. OTOH, I don't
 AH> mind sharing a "family washroom" with parents of younger
 AH> kids as long as a whole bunch of stuff hasn't been added as
 AH> an afterthought to a space which barely met minimum
 AH> standards to begin with.  A changing table can double as a
 AH> grab bar... or it can occupy space the wheelchair user
 AH> desperately needs.

Right you are, plus more attune to restriction and barriers. And, very true
about the learning curve. If the individual wants to learn from their
situation, or just stew in their juices is determined by the 'size of the fight
in the dog'. Well, IM not so HO.

So I believe we have a curve developing, starting at the apathetic, going to
the whiner, moving to the manipulator, then to a coper, educator, and then an
engineer. Am I missing something?

To me, the most pathetic is obvious, but I can't stand someone who just tries
to get others to do for them, what they are perfectly capable of themselves. I
can't fault a motivator, or one person who needs to move a mountain. That one
person *must* procure assistance, or they will die of stupid pride trying to do
the job themselves.

I may have mentioned an Aunt who lives in a chair? One day, my mom asked her
how she was going to plant all the plants she was buying. After a little pause,
her solution was to invite one of her sons over, or grab the first neighbour to
pass by to do it for her. 

For me - I don't think I'm breaking new ground here - I was ecstatic to get in
the dirt this summer. After so many tried to keep up with my plan, I was
actually able to execute it. I had two people ask if I was the new homeowner. I
knew I had done some good, and it was all because of me. If it failed, I could
blame no one but myself, but when I succeeded, I knew all the na-sayers could
blow it out their hot heads. (Not really the direction I was going, but in the
interest of a 'G' rating... ;-)



 AH>           Recently, in our local shopping area, Dallas determined that
 AH> 1/10 of the pedestrians were using some sort of mobility aid.
 AH> Folks with disabilities don't have to hide in a back
 AH> bedroom any more... long may it last!  And as for those who
 AH> lose interest when they see a cane or whatever... is it
 AH> worth trying to drag them kicking & screaming into the 21st
 AH> century?  Probably not....  :-)

In order to avoid duplicating the topic George started in ABLED. I think he
said a mouthful, and was quite indicative of common problems. In the interest
of keeping the 'G' rating... 

As far as 'hiding' in a back bedroom, I do so out of necessity. I attended the
sisters on Christmas Evening. I made it, uncomfortably to Christmas Day dinner.
By the time I heard my cousin was in town, common sense would have found me
'hiding.' But, NO... Out I go to visit with her and the family! 

I slept twelve hours that night, and had a pretty lengthy nap as soon as
carcass hit couch. (Min. 2hr.)  When an old school chum took me out for milk
shopping a couple years ago, he was only associating my hermit like behaviour
akin to his mental breakdown. No... It was survival that I had to immobilize
myself for the length of time, not an unwillingness to leave the structure. 


 AH>           That's my take on it.  I'm not up to long walks
 AH> any more, but I love being in the great outdoors & kayaking
 AH> offers another way to get around.  :-))

Good on ya! What was I saying about "Alternate forms of transportation"? 



 AH>           For everything else, there's MasterCard.  Quite a clever
 AH> ad....  ;-)

Quite worthy of a few chuckles, to be sure!


... "I'm not hiding. I'm being coy." -Jason "Home Movies"
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