LETTER FROM A LAW STUDENT
By
Neal Boortz
{at} March 6, 2009 8:21 AM Permalink | Comments (155) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm bumping this up so it'll appear on today's Nuze since it got posted
late during the show yesterday. Enjoy!

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists
and Obama supporters,

We've stuck together since the late 1950s, but the whole of this latest
election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know that we
tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but
sadly this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of
America cannot and just will not ever agree on what's right. So let's just
end it right now while we can do it on friendly terms. We can smile, shake
hands, chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and each go our own way.

So here's a model separation agreement.

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each
taking a portion. That's going to be the difficult part, but I'm sure our
two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be
relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide
other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate taste. We
don't like redistributive taxes so you can have those. You are welcome to
the liberal judges and the ACLU. And since you hate guns and you hate war,
we'll take the firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep
Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. But you are going to be
responsible for finding a biodiesel vehicle big enough to haul them around.

We'll keep the capitalism, the greedy corporations, the pharmaceutical
companies; we will keep Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have the
homeless, the homeboys, the hippies and illegal aliens. We will keep the
hot Alaskan hockey moms, the greedy CEOS and all of the rednecks. We'll
keep the Bibles and we'll let you have NBC and Hollywood.

You can be nice to Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade
and hammer anybody that threatens us. You can have the peaceniks and the
war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we
will provide them with security. You won't have to worry about it. We will
keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology,
Humanism and Shirley Maclaine. You can also have the UN, but we will no
longer pay the bill.

We will keep the SUVs, the pickup trucks and the oversize luxury cars. You
can have the compacts, the subcompacts and every Subaru station wagon you
can find. You can give everybody healthcare, if you can find any practicing
doctors. We will continue to believe that healthcare is a privilege and not
a right. We will keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and the
national anthem, and I am sure you will be happy to substitute in their
place "Imagine." I'd like to teach the world to sing
"Kumbaya" or "We are the world." We will practice
trickle-down economics and you can give trickle-up poverty your best shot.
And since it so offends you, we will keep our history, our name and our
flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along other like-minded
liberal and conservative patriots. And if you do not agree, just hit
delete. In the friendly spirit of parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of
us will need whose help in about 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J Wall

Law student and an American

P.S. You can also have Barbara Streisand and Jane Fonda

--- Thunderbird 2.0.0.19 (Windows/20081209)