Bob, at 07:42 on Apr 20 1996, you wrote to Bill Grimsley...

BG> more important things to worry about, such as Hydraseal tap washers which 
BG> cost $3.50 a pair in bubble-packing, or $0.75 each if loose. 

BL> Gee, $0.75 each if loose! Does that discount apply to loose men 
BL> or just loose women?

Dunno, but they sold the cheaper ones to me without quibbling.  I don't
know whether to feel insulted now, or what.

BG> A lot of their own generic things are really brand-name
BG> products in their own plain packaging (but you already knew
BG> that), and it quite often says so on the packet anyway.

BL> Some are just repackages as you say, but the really cheap stuff is
BL> quite different. You have to watch them with food. 

True.  I always check the small print before buying, and will always take
the Australian product if there's a choice, even if it's a bit dearer.

BL> I was buying some really good half-price jam from New Zealand, and the next 
BL> week it was made in Eqypt! 

ROFL!  Made from dead Greek tourists, presumably?

BL> Same packaging. No thanks! And they change. I used their cheap hair shampoo 
BL> for years, and the bastards changed manufacturer.

In case you're interested, "Morning Fresh" dishwashing liquid
works well on hair.  Detergent is basically just a water softener anyway.

BL> Yair, they are definitely cheap, but the shop here in Concord is a
BL> real shitheap... narrow aisles, boxes everywhere, they run out of
BL> chooks... it's only mean bastards like me who like it. 

When you're saving say $15 every $100 spent, tripping over a few empty
boxes is tolerable, and could even mean a $10 million 3rd party damages
payout if you're really lucky, and break your leg.

BL> Mum's legs are going, and I do the "heavy" grocery shoppng now.

BG> Damn, you should have had the vet do a job lot after all...

BL> Thank you for your caring attitude... (g).

Just trying to save you money, that's all.  :)

BG> Needless to say, all of the other checkouts had huge queues,
BG> and here I am with a single item to buy. What a bastard! 

BL> Bloody women! Have you noticed the way men fight to line up behind
BL> other men? At least you know he isn't gioing to buggerise around. All
BL> he wants is to be is outa there!

Yeah, but can you blame them?  I even had some ignorant cow of a woman ask
me if she could go next the other day.  All she had was a box of Band-aids,
and she reckoned that her baby was outside the shop bleeding to death, but
being a suspicious bastard, I told her to fuck off to the end of the queue.

BG> I just run into their ankles with the trolley. They soon move. :)

BL> (chuckle) I favour elbows myself, but I did my training on Randwick
BL> racecourse. I've found the perfect way to move those little shits of
BL> kids they seem to be breeding nowadayas. You don't ask the mother to
BL> move the kid, you say to the kid: "Look out, or I'll hurt
you." That 
BL> seems to bring mothers running from as far as three aisles away to 
BL> grab their little precious.

Try standing on the little bastards' toes.  That always works for me.

BL> I can't imagine why women like shopping! I keep refining my technique to 
BL> improve on my 11-minute record for a week's shopping, but these bloody 
BL> women keep baulking me. 

To be fair, it's the only social enjoyment they get, apart from watching
the afternoon soapies.  My favourite trick is to look at the checkout
chick's name tag (usually pinned to her left breast) and ask her what she
calls the other one.  Sadly, most just say "what do you mean?". 
What a waste of a good joke!

BL> I'm like poetry in motion (kids included). I'll even tell you my secret... 
BL> don't wheel the rolley down all the aisles, just do the ouside loop and 
BL> make rushes down the aisles for all you can carry. That way, the fucking 
BL> women can't block you with their trolleys, and you can just kick he kids out 
BL> of the way as you go.

I like your style, Bob.  :)

Regards, Bill

--- Msgedsq/2 3.20