Hi again, Richard!  This is a continuation of my previous message to you:

RW>  [...] this guy was a bit too intense for most junior
RW>  high situations.


          Sounds familiar.  I taught theory & expected my students to
work with me to produce the best sound we could achieve together even
though my principal said "Just keep 'em playing... that's what they
want at this age!"  I was never as popular as the band teacher at his
former school.  But a few years later one of my ex-students told me, with
some amazement, that the kids in his band class at senior high who hadn't
been in my class had no experience with 5/4.  Another followed in my
footsteps & eventually became a band teacher himself.  AFAIC one can't
be sure who will become a professional musician or a teacher or a staunch
supporter of the arts later on & I owe it to my students to do my
best....  :-)



RW>  HE was truly one of those musician's musician types,


          Some folks end up as teachers only after they realize they can't
make a living as professional musicians...



RW>  played half a dozen different instruments, and all of
RW>  them very well, etc.


          ... OTOH, unlike many of my classmates who were enrolled in the
music department rather than the education department, he seems to have
taken courses of this nature seriously!  I can play half a dozen
instruments too, but I don't necessarily play all of them well or have the
nerve to do it in public....  ;-)



AH>  A great lesson for all concerned.  :-))

RW>  YEp, and part of that was his admission that he should
RW>  have expected that I'd work out an alternative signaling
RW>  arrangement with my neighbors and been able to put two and
RW>  two together.  I think he was a bit disappointed that his
RW>  wife didn't correlate one action with another.


          Perhaps he accepted her interpretation without question...
regardless of how well she knew each individual student and/or how much she
knew about the technical aspects of conducting... because she was his wife.
 Dallas & I have a friend in his eighties who, while he himself has
remained single, repeats a lot of the grumbling he hears from another
person about wife #2 with no distinction between fact & opinion. 
Although we haven't met wife #2 we have known this man since he was married
to wife #1.  We can both see why he'd be difficult to live with.  Our
friend once said as much but clearly idolized wife #1... [wry grin].

          I believe a lot of otherwise intelligent adults who are old
enough to have fully developed prefrontal lobes (or whatever) tend to make
errors of this nature fairly often when their nearest & dearest are
involved.  As a teacher, I know I must be objective in my evaluation... and
I know I must provide adequate data to support whatever conclusion(s) I
arrive at.  Your teacher probably knew that too.  As a wife & mother,
however, I often find myself expected in various social situations to keep
other women occupied so their menfolk can talk freely about the common
interests which brought them together with Dallas & me.  While I don't
know the woman you've alluded to it wouldn't surprise me if her husband
chose her at least in part because she was operating on a different level,
then overestimated her ability to understand his concerns sometimes.  But I
think it is to his credit that he was educable.  I'm also taking into
account when these events probably occurred.  Years ago, the average
schoolteacher had no training or experience WRT special needs.  Your
teacher may have been a pioneer, just as Dallas & I were, with very few
positive role models & with very little support.

          Reading between the lines... I gather you & I are about the
same age. As it happens, our own daughter attended the elementary school a
girl I babysat during my late teens wasn't allowed to attend because she
was legally blind.  A lot has changed since then.  I reckon you encountered
some of the same problems we've encountered, however.  The idea that folks
who are "different" want to do what they're doing is still new
& unfamiliar to many other folks.  And we often find ourselves battling
misconceptions such as the idea that everybody who uses a wheelchair is
exactly like whoever else gets most of the publicity... (sigh).




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+