-=> Quoting Sondra Ball to Robin Arnhold <=-
Hi, Sondra,
 RA>Good.  I'm glad to hear that he is getting hospice care.  It will take a
 >tremendous burden off his family who are, after all, trying to deal with
 >the imminent loss of a loved one.  That's more than enough without having
 >to also provide round-the-clock care.
 SB> 
 SB> He passed over peacefully.  The memorial service is today. I am really
 SB> glad that he was able to have those final days at home surrounded by
 SB> folks he loved, and who loved him.  It was an emotionally and
 SB> physically exhausting time; but it was also a wonderful time.  Mario
 SB> was talking about this entire experience a couple of days ago,
 SB> including the conflict with the medical profession.  He said, "You
 SB> know, with all the deaths I've seen, this is the first time I've
 SB> *really* understood what the whole *death with dignity* talk is all
 SB> about." 
I'm glad to hear he went peacefully, at home with his loved ones around
him.  I recently heard that most people in this country die alone and in
pain, which makes me very glad his family had the courage to stand up
against the medical profession and save him from that fate.
 RA>It is hard enough being 13 or 14 without having added trauma.  I
 >suspect
 >Rob realizes that to see a loved one on his deathbed would be an
 >emotional overload that he believes he might not be able to handle.  And
 >who is to say he is wrong?  I lost my father when I was 14 and was
 >sexually molested by one of his co-workers a few months later.  I am
 >still trying to sort through that part of my life and deal with it.  It
 >was definitely too much trauma for me to handle at that age.  I hope Rob
 >is able to handle this new loss better than I handled mine.
 SB> 
 SB> I agree that adolescence is a particularly rough time, without having
 SB> other things go wrong.  I am sorry that your early teens were so
 SB> traumatic.  I suspect that Rob will have become an adult before he is
 SB> truly able to sort through all these emotions; and come to terms with
 SB> them.
From what you've said, it sounds like your growing up years were more
traumatic than mine and that you've handled your trauma better and
earlier than I handled mine.  I guess, though, that no matter how late it
comes, there is a time when one either has to start to heal from a trauma
or carry around the excess baggage the rest of one's life (or so it
seems).  I think that time varies from person to person.
Take care,
Robin
--- Blue Wave/DOS v2.20
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