8.  THE GREAT LIE
    by Wendy McElroy 
    Special to TLE      http://www.webleyweb.com/tle/>     Issue 221

"Woman as victim" is one of the Great Lies of our time. Those who
care about women's welfare should correct the damage done by this lie
because, today more than ever, women need to acknowledge their power and
take control of their lives.

Nothing has felt secure since 9-11.

Global tensions spin out of control, terrorism means that no one is safely
a civilian, the news is filled with photos of Iraqi children who break your
heart and leave you feeling powerless to affect anything. You can click off
the TV for time-out but another uncertainty is more difficult to escape:
the economy.

Everyone I know seems to be worried about job security and rising prices. A
neighbor has returned to work because her retirement relied on company
stock that now sells for less than 5% of its peak. A friend has survived
the latest round of employee cuts at a high tech job. An acquaintance who
has been laid off for two weeks -- again! -- is grabbing odd shifts as a
cook at a local bar and grill.

Women today need to take control of their lives. But believing their own
power is made more difficult by the type of feminism that celebrates
"the victim" as a symbol of womanhood. Victims of men, of the
class structure, technology, government, the free market, the family, the
church, Western values...everywhere and always women are painted as
victims. This Great Lie stands as a barrier to women realizing their power
in at least three ways.

First, the "solutions" proposed and pursued by most feminists
have made women more and not less dependent. It may be true that women now
abound in arenas like academia. But such advances are firmly tied to laws
and mandated policies, such as affirmative action, which impose quotas. The
clear message of these laws and policies is that women cannot compete with
men in the free market. Women require governmental assistance to be
successful.

And, so, women's prosperity becomes dependent upon government privilege and
a system of social control, which transfers power from the hands of
individuals into those of politicians and government. This is a
relinquishment of control on the part of every human being, including
women.

Second, the Great Lie leads many women to believe in their lack of control
and to blame their circumstances on everything or anyone but themselves. In
reality, there are always alternatives and people constantly make choices.
Sometimes all the alternatives are undesirable but that does not negate the
one sure source of power every individual has: the ability to choose.
That's how you gain some control over a situation and eventually improve
it.

The improvement can be a long, arduous process, I know. I ran away from
home at 16 and worked minimum wage jobs in order to eat. Although I felt
absolutely powerless, I wasn't. And, by taking control of every opportunity
I encountered, I managed slowly to expand my range of choices.

The third and, perhaps, most damaging effect of the Great Lie is that many
women invest their emotions and energy in rage rather than remedy. This is
true even of women who have never been homeless, hungry, or victimized by
violence. Instead of attacking their problems, they attack people who have
caused them no harm -- men as a class, men they've never met. And, so, the
women swing between celebrating victimhood and venting their rage, neither
of which is likely to change circumstances for the better.

It is sometimes difficult not to feel anger. For example, when a woman is
beaten by her husband, it is natural to feel rage toward him. But being
angry at him doesn't mean ignoring her power. The first question to ask a
battered woman is, "Why do you stay?" In many cases, the women
have come to believe in their own victimhood. What they need to believe in
is the power of their own choices.

Crime and violence tends to increase during times of unemployment and
social turmoil. And, unfortunately, our society seems to be heading toward
such turmoil. The economy will not recover quickly, the fear of terrorism
will not fade, the controversy surrounding the war in Iraq will continue.
Most us will see friends out of work, a reduction of real income, and an
increase in the incivility with which conflicting factions address each
other. These are times that require self-control and self-reliance.

Women need to abandon the Great Lie and claim responsibility for and
control over their lives. Perhaps a good way to start is to stare at how
women in less developed nations live. Without a free market and technology,
they live in misery, near starvation. Without Western ideals of property
rights and equality under the law, they have no protection from violence.

The Great Truth is that women in our society constitute one of the most
privileged and powerful classes of human being on earth. The challenge is
to make women believe in their power. "Woman as victim" is an
idea whose time has passed. Woman as survivor and success must take its
place.
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