Look inside yourself, All, You are MORE Then what you
Have become. you must take your place in the circle of life!
Here is a "Lion King Addiction Test 1.01" I found
on ALT.FAN.LION-KING news group.
This will help you test wether you are a Lion King addicted.
I got 528 in it ...
Is something wrong with me? ;-)
Thought I still think the 400 fits more to me, But I still got 528
and I can't ignore it ... Oh well, life ain't fair.
=== [Begin: TLKTEST.TXT] ===
Begin Test!
-----------
1. Have you seen The Lion King more than once? --1pts
More than ten times? --5pts
More than fifty times? --10pts
2. Did you wear your Lion King VHS tape out? --3pts
Did you buy a new one? --3pts
3. Are you a member of FCOS? --3pts
Did you declare it your legal religion? --15pts
4. Do you consider the concept of drinking coffee out of a
Nala mug blasphemy? --4pts
5. Have you ever forced friends to watch The Lion King? --2pts
6. Have you learned Swahili? --10pts
Using only the online Swahili dictionary? --20pts
7. Do you own the TLK soundtrack in more than one language? --10pts
8. Do you own Lion King plushies? --2pts
Do you hug them? --(negative 2pts)
Did you buy two sets, and keep one "safe from my unsatiable
cuddlin' desires"? --5pts
9. Have you ever been forcibly removed from the Disney Store? --10pts
10. Do you own the Deluxe Lion King laserdisc? --10pts
Are you lacking a laserdisc player? --10pts
11. Do you read Lion King fan fiction? --15pts
12. Have you read "Acceptance"? --10pts
Did you feel jealous of Chad? --5pts
13. Do you talk to your Nala plushie? --5pts
Does she talk back? --15pts
Can other people hear her talking back? --100pts
14. Have you ever played out scenes from TLK in your head? --5pts
In your living room? --10pts
On your roof? --25pts
With plushies? (Applies to living room or roof) --20pts
15. Do you refuse to mow your lawn because it's "All part of
the Great Circle of Life" --15pts
16. Do you ever have dreams about lions? --2pts
Other than Nala? --3pts
Really? --1pt
17. Have you ever snatched away a TLK gift meant for your kids,
with the explanation that they could "never appreciate it as
much as their mommy/daddy"? --15pts
18. Have you switched from kissing to licking? --20pts
19. Do you have a TLK webpage? --10pts
Is it better than mine?! --forfeit all points (just kidding)
20. Do you watch Timon and Pumbaa --10pts
Will you openly admit it to fellow TLK fans? -(negative 10pts)
21. Do you own Ugandan Lion King stamps? --15pts
22. Have you ever used the phrase "naughty bunnies" in a sentence? --10pts
23. Have you ever worn a "fur suit"? --10pts
For intimate purposes? --15pts
With a plushie? --30pts
24. When you see Scar slap Sarabi; do you feel the need to rip
your TV out of the wall and SMASH IT, SMASH IT, *DAMMIT* TO
HELL SCAR, WHY CAN'T YOU *JUST* LEAVE HER *ALONE*?!?!! --15pts
25. Are you laughing right now? --5pts
26. Do you consider pirating software related to TLK to be okay? --10pts
Did you consult your plushies for this moral dilemma? --10pts
27. Do you emit an audible "YESSSS!" when Simba slashes Shenzi? --5pts
28. Is your one hope for the human race that they will hurry up
and invent the holodeck so you can get back to where you
belong? --15pts
29. Do you own cats? --5pts
Do you make them hunt for their own food? --10pts
Do you bathe them with your own tounge? --20pts
30. Have you ever driven up to the McDonalds drivethru and shouted
"Aiheu abamni, these burgers are positively _corban_!" --35pts
31. Have you read any books about real lions since seeing TLK? -15pts
More than 5? --20pts
More than 15? --30pts
32. Do you collect merchandise related to lions or other wild cats or
African wildlife? --10pts
33. Have you made vacation plans to visit Africa? --10pts
Have you admitted to yourself that this is just a fancy and could
never come true unless you won the lottery? --(negative ten points)
34. Have you ever gone to the lion exhibit at the zoo and told small
children that "yeah, sure, he may look cute;
but if you were on the other side of those bars,
he'd rip you from stem to stern and eat your heart" --10pts
Have you personally tested this theory? --15pts
Did the lions regard you as one of thieir own? --50pts
35. Have you created any fan art? --10pts
Other than Nala sketches? --15pts
36. Have you written any fan poetry? --10pts
37. Do you own "The Art of The Lion King"? --15pts
Do you own two of them? --15pts
Are either the deluxe edition? --30pts
Both? --30pts
38. Have you traveled long distances just to meet a fellow TLK fan? --20pts
Overseas? --20pts
Into a police state? --30pts
Is this, in fact, how you meet all your friends? --40pts
39. Have you tied to get any of your friends to join alt.fan.lion-king or
he
TLK mailing list? --10pts
Did they do it? --15pts
Just to shut you up? --15pts
40. Do you use the TLK Muck? --10pts
Do you spend more than 2 hours a day on it? --10pts
Do you spend more time on it than off it? --20pts
41. Do you have any TLK posters on your wall? --10pts
Do you have so many that you can no longer see the wall? --15pts
Did you steal any of them? --20pts, and a smack on the wrist
42. Do you go to see all movies with Jeremy Irons in it, just so you can
"keep your eye on that troublemaker"? --10pts
43. Were you dissapointed by the movie "To Die For", as you thought it had
something to do with TLK? --15pts
44. Have you ever been in the middle of a group discusison about
"Hamlet" and blurted out that
"It was done much better in The Lion King!"? --20pts
45. Have you ever asked your mom to be more like Sarabi? --20pts
46. Have you adopted an internet "nickname" that is related to TLK? --30pts
47. Have you ever left your kids home under the care of your pet bird?
--40pts
48. Have you specualted just what Sarafina _really_ meant by "What do you
think, Sarabi?" --20pts
49. Do you think Simba's butt looks cute? (Adult, or young) --20pts
50. Have you ever looked in a Swahili dictionary to find out what the
characters names mean? --15pts
51. Do you own a lion? --30pts
52. Have you ever spoken to any star from "The Lion King"? --20pts
53. Has anyone ever told you that you "need to get a grip on this whole
Lion King thing"? --20pts
Did you hurt them? --20pts
54. Did your friends get you a Nala plushie for your
birthday/Christmas? --20pts
Did you immediatly embrace it screaming "Oh Nala, I _KNEW_ you'd come
for me!!" --40pts
(note, if you prefer, you may replace Nala with Simba or Scar)
55. Have you ever submitted an essay about The Lion King to a mag? --25pts
56. Don't you wish you had a tail? --15pts
57. Have you tried to rationalize that what Scar did was merely
a product of years of mistreatment? --20pts
58. Have you ever cried out in a moment of passion "Oh, ZAZU!" -400pts
59. When your company held open house, did all the kids gather around your
cubicle to see the "Lion King Shrine"? --40pts
60. Do you play Wing Commander because the Kilrathi are "hot"? --30pts
--------
End test
You may put down your TLK embroidered pencils now. How did you fare?
You may have felt guilty for having answered no to some of the questions,
if so, give yourself 30 points. Here's the grading scale:
580-600+ Aiheu help you.
500-580 You are hopelessly addicted to TLK, you know it, and you
don't care. If you are a man, you have a long beard
because you refuse to shave with anything other than the
Lion King shaving kit. You would fight barefisted with
any lion any day to defend the honor of Nala. You
think you are in Africa, and constantly roam your house
looking for stray hyenas. Your relatives stopped visiting
long ago after you started
"marking your territory" about the House.
You used to stalk Jeremy Irons. You have been excommunicated
from the FCOS for "taking it too damned seriously".
400-500 You are addicted! You probably own all the TLK
merchandize known to man, and it's still not enough for
you. People don't understand your crave for the feline,
but all the same you wish Nala would give up on that
hopelessly boring Simba. If you are female, of course,
it's the other way around. You one day hope to construct
Pride Rock in your back yard. Everything you do, you
confess at the FCOS.
300-400 You might still actually some life outside of "The Lion
King". You might even have a significant other, though
you never share your inner secret that you wish he/she was
covered in fur. Sometimes you get the urge to roar... and
you do. You write fan fiction, and have TLK mugs stashed
away in the cupboard. You are thinking of getting a Lion
King tatoo.
200-300 Ah, you have a healthy addiction! You don't fancy yourself
a lion, and you haven't even made your first kill yet.
Most people think you are eccentric (crazy if you're poor),
but Nala only enters your mind when you want her to. If
you have kids, they probably think that you are the coolest
thing since the retraction of prohibition as you will often
dress up as Mufasa and play along with their games.
100-200 You've seen the movie, you liked it, but you think all
these other fans are nuts. You wonder if all this talk of
Nala is a joke, or if they really mean it. You tried
reading a fan fiction once.
0-100 You got your kids the video, and you got them their
damned dressup-Nala dolls, what more do they want of
you?! It's just a kids movie, right?
Hope you found yourself somewhere in there. :)
+-+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+
Ryan McGinnis ()_() TLKiaWoL
mcginnr@iastate.edu (_) Jay's Mosh
http://www.public.iastate.edu/~mcginnr/lionking/
You know you're a bird enthusiast when someone
screams "MURDER!" and you look up
+-+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+
=== [End: TLKTEST.TXT] ===
Nimrod Carmi simba@poboxes.com
IRC: Simba_ TLK Muck: Mzunga *TLKiaWoL*
FidoNet: 2:406/118 UltiNet: 97:200/853
=-----=
Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a hyena?
A: I don't know--there are some things even a hyena won't do!
--- FMail/386 1.20
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* Origin: Black Adder BBS þ +972-651-4404 þ Sysop: Simba þ (2:406/406.666)
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