-=> Quoting Janada Oakley to Jean Halverson <=-
 JH> Then there are the people who think I'm crazy. Believe me, that
 JH> comment  gets old. Of course, with age My husband and I have
 JH> come up with some  stinging answers to some of the more stupid
 JH> questions. It seems that just because we have a large family,
 JH> people think they have  the right to ask incredibly personal
 JH> questions.
 
 JO> Then you are getting the opposite end of the spectrum that I
 JO> get because I chose not to have children. I figured out, oh,
 JO> about 25 years ago it was not for me. I have never even
 JO> slightly regretted it.
 
 JH> Good for you. Some people don't realize they're not cut out for
 JH> it until it's too late. When we started out it was our total
 JO> Thank you for understanding. I don't know why some people think it's
 JO> everyone's *duty* to have children. 
 
 I think that it's the mothers more than anything. Although my folks were
 really mad when I started having kids.
 
 JH> desire to have children. We didn't argue about it or anything.
 JH> As a matter of fact, we discussed it in depth before we were
 JH> married. That's not to say that we didn't have problems, but we
 JH> were (and still are) committed to our marriage and our children
 JH> in that order.
 JO> That is so good to hear! In fact someone was telling me (jokingly,
 JO> of course, so he's still breathing) that *I* really should have had
 JO> kids since I know how to deal with them so well, and I have good
 JO> genes. We had been talking about how it was such a shame that far too
 JO> many mature responsible people (okay, maybe selfish too) are choosing
 JO> not to have many, if any, while the welfare crowd just keeps on
 JO> having them as always. Now I can say, "Hey, don't worry, I know a
 JO> very good conservative mother that has seven, so she's taking up the
                                            ^^^^^
 That's eight.
 JO> slack for me."   Gosh, Jean, since you've been so kind to do that,
 JO> I feel like I should do something nice for you! 
 Well I could use a couple years of vacation.
 JO> Yes, exactly! And I can see that happening, having raised animals
 JO> all my life. Sure, they are so cute when they are puppies, kittens,
 JO> colts, calves, chicks...but once they get older they aren't so cute.
 JO> And if a person isn't mature enough to think ahead about taking care
 JO> of that "child" for the next 18 or so years, they probably should
 JO> re-think it.
 
 The people who need to rethink it are exactly the ones who _won't_.
 But then it really is hard to tell who will make good parents and who won't.
 My folks were sure that I and my husband would be bad parents, now they sing 
 our praises to whoever will listen.
 JO> I was recalling to Mom one day about how horrible daycare was. (I 
 JO> still get heebie jeebies from those plastic glittery cups and the 
 JO> little boxes of cereal), and she said she couldn't believe I even
 JO> remembered it, since we were only there a few days while gramma was 
 JO> in the hospital. I could have sworn we were there for months! 
 
 Wow, what a lasting impression.
 JH> two's", not even the ADD one or the hyperactive ones. I
 JH> personally believe that it is just a matter  of  perception.
 JO> I think you are right about that. Teachers today are too quick to
 JO> call *any* kind of disruptive behavior ADD, and medicate the heck
 JO> out of them. My friend's neice supposedly has ADD and has been on
 JO> ritalin(?) for years during the school months. It stunted her
 JO> growth, and a result she only grew during the summer. That just
 JO> cannot be good for a child! Naturally, she is still small for her
 JO> age. That has really been a problem since she is an alternate on the
 JO> US Soccer team. If she were more normal sized she probably would be
 JO> on the starting team.
 Yeah we have one who's ADHD and because we homeschool I think we are doing
 her a big favor since we don't have people pushing us to medicate. We are
 teaching her how to cope without medication. She doesn't even realize she 
 has anything different about her. And I want it to remain that way. She's
 4 inches taller than me now too BTW. Of course Time will only tell whether
 we are doing the right thing. The hyperactive ones are basically going 
 through the same thing. We're treating them as if they are normal. Of
 course they are all just minimally afflicted. They don't have severely 
 affected sleeping patterns. But I know if they were in public school they'd
 be pushing Ritalin. My little sister was on it for about three months and
 my grandparents took her off because it just didn't seem right to them.
 Anyway, they changed schools but they never mentioned it to the new teacher. 
 The new teacher never made any mention of my sister having any problems.
 So much for her being clinically hyper.
 
 JO> My mom said my brother and I never went through terrible twos, or
 JO> try to drink bleach, or even drown in a bucket. Children need to be
 JO> supervised, and she was always nearby. 
 
 My mother was particularly inattentive. I'd had my stomach pumped 3 times
 by the time i was three. And I've always been a calm and sedate person.
 JO> ... Kids: God's way of saying that your house is too tidy.
 roflroflroflrofl snip
 Jean Halverson
... "Bother," said Jean, and deleted C:\WINDOWS again.
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