JH> Then there are the people who think I'm crazy. Believe me, that
JH> comment  gets old. Of course, with age My husband and I have
JH> come up with some  stinging answers to some of the more stupid
JH> questions. It seems that just because we have a large family,
JH> people think they have  the right to ask incredibly personal
JH> questions.
JO> Then you are getting the opposite end of the spectrum that I
JO> get because I chose not to have children. I figured out, oh,
JO> about 25 years ago it was not for me. I have never even
JO> slightly regretted it.
JH> Good for you. Some people don't realize they're not cut out for
JH> it until it's too late. When we started out it was our total
Thank you for understanding. I don't know why some people think it's
everyone's *duty* to have children. 
JH> desire to have children. We didn't argue about it or anything.
JH> As a matter of fact, we discussed it in depth before we were
JH> married. That's not to say that we didn't have problems, but we
JH> were (and still are) committed to our marriage and our children
JH> in that order.
That is so good to hear! In fact someone was telling me (jokingly,
of course, so he's still breathing) that *I* really should have had
kids since I know how to deal with them so well, and I have good
genes. We had been talking about how it was such a shame that far too
many mature responsible people (okay, maybe selfish too) are choosing
not to have many, if any, while the welfare crowd just keeps on
having them as always. Now I can say, "Hey, don't worry, I know a
very good conservative mother that has seven, so she's taking up the
slack for me."   Gosh, Jean, since you've been so kind to do that,
I feel like I should do something nice for you! 
JO> I just think people should do what is right for them and what
JO> they are comfortable with. You seem like my mom, and I think
JO> that kind of person has a very special gift. She is "Mom" first
JO> and foremost, all else takes a back seat. That is what *every*
JO> kid needs and deserves, but it's also far more than I would
JO> ever be able or inclined to give. I am still a kid and will
JO> always be one. I may be selfish, but I'm just really glad I
JO> realized it *before* I had kids. It's not like you can try them
JO> out and send them back to the manufacturer if they don't turn
JO> out to be what you expected.
JH> Yeah, I've seen so many people treat kids like they were pets.
Yes, exactly! And I can see that happening, having raised animals
all my life. Sure, they are so cute when they are puppies, kittens,
colts, calves, chicks...but once they get older they aren't so cute.
And if a person isn't mature enough to think ahead about taking care
of that "child" for the next 18 or so years, they probably should
re-think it.
JH> Once the  newness wears off (at about 2 yrs of age) dump them
JH> into daycare. None of my kids ever went through a "terrible
I was recalling to Mom one day about how horrible daycare was. (I 
still get heebie jeebies from those plastic glittery cups and the 
little boxes of cereal), and she said she couldn't believe I even
remembered it, since we were only there a few days while gramma was 
in the hospital. I could have sworn we were there for months! 
JH> two's", not even the ADD one or the hyperactive ones. I
JH> personally believe that it is just a matter  of  perception.
I think you are right about that. Teachers today are too quick to
call *any* kind of disruptive behavior ADD, and medicate the heck
out of them. My friend's neice supposedly has ADD and has been on
ritalin(?) for years during the school months. It stunted her
growth, and a result she only grew during the summer. That just
cannot be good for a child! Naturally, she is still small for her
age. That has really been a problem since she is an alternate on the
US Soccer team. If she were more normal sized she probably would be
on the starting team.
My mom said my brother and I never went through terrible twos, or
try to drink bleach, or even drown in a bucket. Children need to be
supervised, and she was always nearby. She always took the summers
off work so she'd be home when we were. That got me out of going to
summer school one year. I flunked the second semester of algebra but
I didn't tell her. By the time she found out, she was already taking
the summer off and wanted to spend it with me at home. But boy, was
she ever mad at first! 
... Kids: God's way of saying that your house is too tidy.
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