SM> Aye, laddie, sadly, ait's truu...

 SM> Ait's tyme for yu tu laern tha truu waies o' tha dwarves o' tha 1275th.
 SM> Doon't think ov ait as a punishmant, laddie; think ov ait as soomthin'
 SM> that will make yu strongar (if ait doesn't kill yu, thaat ais...).

 SM> First, yu need to sned $127.50 tu tha NCORF, office of Da RSM. Thais ais
 SM> for yor drivel lessons, sneddin' papers, phunny hat, aardvark detector,
 SM> and decoder ring. Doon't be suprised if noone ov those items evar arrive;
 SM> we make nu promises here, except thaat yu'll raegret yor staie.

 SM> Next, yu hav'ta assume a "position" as a MC&D
apprentice dwarf. As an
 SM> apprentice, yu are slightlie bettar than a newbie, but are still the low
 SM> man on tha totem poll, so tu speak. Yu will remain the lowest form of
 SM> dwarf ain tha whole blamed echo until sooch tyme as the moore experienced
 SM> dwarves saie that you are no longar the last dwarf ain tha peckin' order.

 SM> Finally, if yu know what's good for yu, you'll sned off an offerin', tu
 SM> gain tha good will ov tha troops ait CADB Calgary, Rm 1275, 13410
 SM> Flander's Ave, Calgary, AB, Canada. Haggis, scotch whiskey, or Canadian
 SM> Tire  tools are all verie gud suggestions ain thaat raegard.

 SM> I hear thaat tha motor pool ais lookin' for a nu apprentice. Ait might be
 SM> a bettar "position" thaan floor sweepar ait tha deli. Gud luck.

Isn't it time you take your hand out from under the kilt and do someting useful
for a change.

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