Hazardous Material Data Sheet : Woman
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Analysis:
Element:  Woman
Symbol:  WO.
Discoverer: Dr. Spock
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 55kg. but known to vary from 4 to 255kg.
Occurrences: Copious quantities in all urban areas with trace elements in
most others.
Physical Properties:
1. Surface is usually covered in powder/paint film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes for no reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if not correctly used.
5. Found in various grades ranging from virgin to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure applied gently to selected points***
Chemical Properties:
1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and most precious
stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of precious substances.
3. May explode spontaneously, without warning, for no reason.
4. Softens and takes on a rosy glow when soaked in hot water.
5. Activity greatly increases with saturation in alcohol.
6. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
Common Uses:
1. Highly ornamental - especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
Tests:
1. Pure specimen turns bright red when discovered in natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.