We all have fantasies about things we'd like to see happen
to/at the Clinton White House.  Here's one of mine:
Mike McCurry steps up to the podium for the daily press
briefing.  He drones through the usual prepared statements
(which the reporters already have anyway), then opens the
usual Q&A session.
"Yes, Mr. Donaldson."
"What can you tell us about the President's reaction to
Kathleen Willey's interview on _60 Minutes_?"
"I've told you before, Sam...I've told all of you before...
I'm not going to comment on that.  Next question...umm...
Ms. Mitchell?"
"Why _won't_ you answer Sam's question, Mike?  The President
has to have some reaction to the Willey interview."
"Andrea, I'm just not going to comment on that matter at
all.  Umm...Yes, in the back row, with the bow-tie."
"Les Nessman, WKRP Radio News.  If you won't comment on the
things people want to know about, why should we listen to
anything you _do_ want to talk about?"
"Nessman?  Say, is this some sort of gag?"
"Yes, the name is Nessman -- and if you gag yourself when
you don't want to tell us what we want to know, why
should we bother to listen to you at all?"
"Look, I don't know who you really are or how you got in
here, but I'm not going to play along with whatever game
you're playing."    "Yes, the lady in the first
row."
"Murphy Brown, _FYI_.  C'mon, Mike, the little guy has a
point.  If the only information we can get from you is what
you feel comfortable talking about, we aren't doing our
jobs as journalists.  Perhaps we should just skip these
press briefings and spend our time hanging around Newt
Gingrich's office instead."
"Is this some sort of gag?  I mean, you certainly look like
Murphy Brown, and you talk like Murphy Brown...but Murphy
Brown isn't real!"
"I'm every bit as real as the sanitized bilge this White
House tries to feed us every day, and a lot more real than
what the President calls 'the truth'."
"Okay, now I know this isn't real, it must be a dream or
something.  Everyone knows Murphy Brown is as liberal as
they come and a big Bill Clinton supporter."
"That was before Kathleen Willey, Mike.  Now, even Patricia
Ireland thinks the President is a sexual predator."    "These people are so
far from the truth, even a fictional character like me is
a lot more real than anything they say.  Are we going to sit
still and just take this crap?  Or do we demand the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"





Walter, wluffman@usit.net    CompuServe: 74721,3464
... Watergate was *one* lie, and no dead bodies. - Rush Limbaugh
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