>How many audiophiles does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but the new bulb "blows the old one away."
And now we present the r.a.pro lightbulb list....
Q:  How many audio engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
   A1   What's a lightbulb?
   A2   It's in the manual.  Didn't you _read_ the manual?
   A3   Three.  One to change it, and two to complain about how bad
        General Electric's customer support is.
   A4   None.  That's what interns are for.
   A5   If you just turn the other dimmers down a bit, the client won't
        even notice that the bulb has gone out.
   A6   There is *NO* scientific difference between your old bulb and
        the new one, and anyone who tells you otherwise is peddling
        snake oil.
   A7   First, the decision as to whether the bulb should be changed.
        It takes 4 at the minimum. One of whom must have excellent
        communication skills and will present a paper on the subject for
        consideration by the AES.  The other 3 set up numerous blind
        looking tests to determine whether or not anyone really will
        notice the bulb's state as significant.  Passing that part of
        the process, we find that it may be necessary to select the
        proper replacement.  The "1 or 10" rule applies here. Either
        the engineer is experienced enough to select the right bulb for
        the job, or it may require 10 engineers to discuss the various
        options available.  No fewer than 3 of these will then review
        products suitable for the trade magazines while 4 others
        present discussions of the subject to such venues as regional
        AES section meetings and rec.audio.pro.  The remaining 3
        indulge in Internet flame wars blasting the reviews of
        the first 3.
        Ideally, a side by side comparison of bulbs will take place.
        One must consider spectral emissions and footcandle data,
        measuring all to confirm manufacturers' claims. The type of
        gas filling the glass bulb and material used for the filament
        can influence the quality of lamp performance, and the
        psychological effects of color distribution can...
        What was the question?
   A8   Two.  One to operate the dimmer and one to say "a little too bright.
        Turn it down."
   A9   If you use 110-ohm balanced line in your lamps, you can go for
        dozens of generations without changing.
   A10  One, so long as he replaces it with an oxygen-free bulb.
   A11  First we have to decide if the bulb is wired base-hot, or
        thread-hot.
   A12  Well, first we need to evaluate how it will affect the artistic
        integrity of the piece to be played in the dark or in the light....
   A13  Three, if the bulb has poor off-axis response.
   A14  Lightbulb...??? You're still using those?
   A15  One, two, one, two...is this thing on?
   A16  None.  That's a job for a video engineer.
   A17  I don't know, how many engineers did it take at [rival-studio]?
   A18  None.  Since it's analog, leave it broken and replace it with the
        latest digital bulb from Alesis.
   A19  None.  They'll just fix it in the mix.
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