Hello John!
On 10 Apr 98, John Hentsch wrote to Tom Scioscia:
 TS>> A grand is kind of expensive for a holeless pasta strainer, isn't it?
 JH> Ouch... That hurt my feelings:)
The Ovation List:
Things to do with an Ovation:
1) Shoot buckshot at the back, then use it to strain spaghetti.
2) Best personal flotation device since Dolly Parton.
3) Win a gold medal at the next winter Olympics-use it in the bobsled event!
4) The shell is great for DEEP dish pizza-and if the guitar melts, who cares?
5) use the back for a bicycle racing helmet
6) there'e enough wood in the top for some matchsticks...
7) my favorite...AN OAR!
8) a cereal bowl?
9) Put it on your back -- Teenage Mutant Ninja Ovations!!!
10) water skis?
11) Use it as a riot shield - you're gonna need it when they hear the sound
    of the thing
12) use it as a large cereal bowl
13) cheap medieval shield
14) BoogieBoard
15) nail it to a stump and use it as a birdbath
16) El Kabong
17) hammer small tacks
18) drive someone crazy - tell them to get a good tone from it
19) Nose cone for a jet?
20) Shoot the rapids - Ovation Kayak co.
21) Mount skinny wheels on the headstock, big wheels in the back, and
    go soapbox derby racing.
22) Use it as a decorative Tossed Salad Centerpiece at your next
    Contemporary Dinner..
23) Catch-basin for at-home oil changes.
24) Baby's bathtub (lift the top and prop it up with the neck as a sunshade)
25) Tie above to a skateboard, doubles as a stroller.
26) Bobsled for that snowstorm that caught you unprepared.
27) Dressmaker's form for flat-chested women.
28) My 1st Ovation came from a tupperware party'
29) Find something to plug up the sound hole and use it to store food.
30) Hang it next to a Hondo acoustic... Or anything you want to overcharge
    for... it'll make it look better...
31) Rip off the top and use the bowl to receive Planet Connect
32) My lettuce has never been crisper
33) Place it under the car when changing oil.
34) Leave the top on and nail it to a tree for a lovely birdhouse
35) Avoid speeding tickets: break off neck and stick it
    under wife's top - she's on the way to delivery, officer!
Ovation Riddles:
Q. Whats the difference between a trampoline and an Ovation Guitar?
A. You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
Q:  What does an Ovation guitar and an out of body experience have in common?
A:  Both have good projection, but lack body and substance.
Q:  What's the difference between an Ovation guitar and a boat paddle?
A:  The boat paddle is more melodic, (though somewhat less resilient).
Q:  What's the difference between an Ovation guitar and helicoptor
    blades?
A:  While the projection is similar, the helicoptor blades have a
    warmer and more balanced response at the lower frequencies.
Q:  What do a bottlemaker, TNT, Nirvana and hurricanes
    have in common with Ovation guitars?
A:  They all bl..    well, you figure this one out for yourself.
Q:  What's the difference between Roseanne Barr and an Ovation guitar?
A:  Roseanne has a more rounded midrange and better
    intonation in the higher registers.
Q:  What's the difference between an onion and an Ovation?
A:  Nobody cries when you cut up an Ovation
Hey - I asked for a GUITAR.
Beat me, whip me, tie me down and make me play an Ovation.
This document would be hilarious at Ovation headquarters...
 ....after all, what could they do?  Send me an Ovation?
The Ovation Adamas:  Illegitimate offspring of a Mandolin and a Surfboard.
Let me get this straight... for $1000 extra I get a guitar with NO wood?
From the rear, it looks like a pear with a 2x4 jammed in top.
There is something about a guitar that is made out of the
same material as the case that bothers me.
C-ya! Rich
--- GoldED 2.40
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