This Rules of Acquisition list was collected from the ST series as
current as the season finale "Call to Arms", as well as other sources
as Internet competitions, novels, comics, etc.  So this list is about
as complete as I've ever seen. 
               The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
 
   Rules coming from episodes are considered "canon", and are given higher
precedence than Rules coming from comics, novels, and other sources.
Last updated with Rules from "Ferengi Love Songs"  April, 1997.
   
   1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.
       Rom, "The Nagus"
   1. If they want their money back, give it to them.
       Rom and Quark, "Prophet Motive" (*)
  
   2. You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try.
   3. Never spend more for an Acquisition than you have to.
       Quark, "The Maquis, Part II"
   4. A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
       'Rules of Netquisition' #1
   4. Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough.
   5. If you can't break a contract, bend it.
  
   6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
       1. Zek, "The Nagus"
       2. Odo, Saratoga
       3. Quark, Rom, and Dax, Wrath of the Prophets
   7. Keep your ears open.
       Odo, "In the Hands of the Prophets"
   8. Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.
       Vung, Warchild
   8. Small print leads to large risk.
       Rules
   8. Keep count of your change.
   9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
       1. Nog, "The Storyteller"
       2. Quark, The Heart of the Warrior
   10. Greed is eternal.
        1. Quark, "Prophet Motive"
        2. Arridor and Kol, "False Profits"
   10. Greed is dead.
        Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
   11. Latinum isn't the only thing that shines.
   12. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
        'Rules of Netquisition' #1
   12. Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
   13. Anything worth doing is worth doing twice.
        The Making of ST:DS9
   14. Anything stolen is pure profit.
   15. Acting stupid is often smart.
   16. Beware of relatives bearing gifts.
   17. A contract is a contract is a contract--but only between Ferengi.
        Rom, Quark, Brunt, and Gint, "Body Parts"
   17. A bargain usually isn't.
   18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
        1. Ben Sisko and Nog, "Heart of Stone"
        2. Rom and Odo, Saratoga
        3. Quark, "Ferengi Love Songs"
   18. A deal is a deal (...until a better one comes along).
        1. Quark, "Melora" (Add-on: Rules)
        2. Rom and Odo, Saratoga
   19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
        Quark, "Meridian"
   19. Don't lie too soon after a promotion.
   20. Only give money to people you know you can steal from.
        'Rules of Netquisition' #2
   20. When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat.
 
   21. Never place friendship above profit.
        Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"
   21. Never place profit before friendship.
        Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
   22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
        1. Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
        2. Arridor and Kol, "False Profits"
   22. Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever.
        Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
   23. Money can never replace dignity.
        Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
   23. Never take the last coin, but be sure to take all the rest.
 
   24. Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.
        'Rules of Netquisition' #2
   24. Never ask when you can take.
   25. There's always a way out.
        'Rules of Netquisition' #1
   25. Fear makes a good business partner.
   26. As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.
        'Rules of Netquisition' #1
   26. The vast majority of the rich in this galaxy did not inherit their
       wealth; they stole it.
   27.There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
       Rules
   27. The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you
       cut it down.
   
   28. Morality is always defined by those in power.
   
   29. When someone says "It's not the money," they're lying.
 
   30. Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money.
   31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother. (...insult something he cares
       about, instead).
        Quark, "The Siege" (Add-on: Rules)
   32. Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects.
   33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
        1. Quark and Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
        2. Odo, Saratoga
   34. War is good for business.
        Quark, "Destiny"
   34. Compassion is no substitute for profit. 
   35. Peace is good for business.
        1. Dax, "Destiny"
        2. Quark and Rom, Objective: Bajor
   35. You could afford your ship if it weren't for your government. (might
       not be ROA)
   
   36. Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore. (might not be ROA)
   39. Friendship is temporary; profit is forever.
        'Rules of Netquisition' #1
   40. She can touch your lobes, but never your Latinum.
        Rules
   41. Profit is its own reward.
        Rules
   41. Money talks, but having lots of it gets more attention.
   42. What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too.
        'Rules of Netquisition' #1
   43. Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.
   44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
        Rules
   45. Ambition knows no family.
        Rules of Netquisition' #2
   46. Make your shop easy to find.
        'Rules of Netquisition' #1
   47. Never trust anyone whose suit is nicer than your own.
        Quark, "Rivals"
   48. Everything is worth something to somebody.
        'Rules of Netquisition' #2
   49. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
        1. Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
        2. Odo, Saratoga
   50. Gratitude can bring on generosity.
        'Rules of Netquisition' #1
   52. Never ask when you can take.
        Rules
   57. Good customers are as rare as Latinum. Treasure them.
        Quark, "Armageddon Game"
   58. There is no substitute for success.
        Rules
   58. Friendship is seldom cheap.
   59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
        1. Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"
        2. Odo, Saratoga
   60. Let's you and him fight.
        Tunk, Balance of Power
   60. Keep your lies consistent.
        Rules
   60. Never use credit where your words will do. 
 
   61. Never buy what can be stolen.
   62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
        1. Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
        2. Quark, "Little Green Men"
        3. Federation (*)
        4. Gaila, "Business as Usual"
   65. Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.
        Rules
   68. Ear stroking will get you anything.
        'Rules of Netquisition' #1
   69. Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
        Tunk, Balance of Power
   70. Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the
       merchandise.
   72. Never trust your customers.
        'Rules of Netquisition' #1
   73. If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.
        'Rules of Netquisition' #1
   75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Latinum.
        Quark, "Civil Defense"
   76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your
       enemies. 
        Quark, "The Homecoming"
   77. It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit.
        'Rules of Netquisition' #2
--- FMail 1.02
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