Tim, I'd like to apologize for a previous reply I sent to this message 
- you pushed some buttons mentioning Sip_AA - I have a lot of anger 
about some of the attitudes I've encountered in some of the other 
recovery echoes that are one topic and one topic only so help you 
God/ess OR ELSE.  I have a problem with it.  I am sorry I dumped on 
you, as it's NOT the Recovery echo where I have the problem and you 
just don't deserve the response you got.
I am also having a LOT of problems with stuff I've seen done in the 
local group of AA I attend - unfortunately, I have nowhere else to go 
or I would.  But being severely visually impaired or "legally" (NOT 
totally) blind and having mobility problems due to spinal athritis and 
athritis in my knees, the day group at the end of my bus route - i e 
downtown - is the only place I can get to and that's where this stuff 
is happening.
I wanted to delete that message to you after I wrote it because I 
recognized that the anger was extremely misplaced when I dumped on you;
however, the other bulletin board I sent it from doesn't allow message 
deletions once saved.  I have not received any mail from you in 
response to it yet, but if you blow me away, well, I guess I deserve 
it.
I just wanted to apologize as soon as I sent it.
Just because I am fed up with AA as a whole and some of the OTHER 
echoes, doesn't give me the right to take it out on you.
This is not an excuse, but I have been fighting a severe depression of 
almost suicidal implications.  I have managed to keep it at bay so far,
but I know I am in trouble.  I just don't know what to do with it 
because I feel like I have nowhere to turn.  My local AA group is being
run by a couple of guys acting like they're from the Gestapo or 
something.  Some of the moderators I've encountered on the other echoes
creamed me for sharing stuff that wasn't SPECIFICALLY on topic, 
although I know that a lot of my chemical and co- dependencies are a 
direct result of the childhood abuse I suffered - including the sexual 
abuse.  But I don't feel comfortable or safe sharing on those echoes 
because they want me to fragment myself in ways I don't even 
understand, much less know how to do.   I had a sponsor, but I fired 
her when she only called when SHE was in trouble, but when I was in 
trouble blew me off with some cliche or another - didn't really listen.
My "visiting teacher" and "home teacher" in my church were supposed to 
visit me today and didn't show up - nor did they call to tell me why.
And my therapist has had to cancel every appointment I've had with her 
for several weeks now due to snow - and now she is on vacation.  My 
husband is too busy to talk to me.  And the one 12 step program I 
usually attend - Survivors of Incest Anonymous - had the only meeting 
in this county cancelled this week due to snow.  today is Yule, 
Chanukah is ongoing and Xmas is coming monday and I am about as 
depressed as I can be because it seems to me that I have nobody I can 
turn to and all my sources of support have abandoned me.
I apologize if you got the short end of the stick.  This is NOT your 
fault.  But it is a pretty miserable space to be in.
Again, I hope you will accept my apology and I mean it - if you want me
to leave the recovery echo too, I will.
--- TriToss (tm) Professional 10.0 - #130
---------------