-> TW> distribution of LINUX that really took the Uniniated Home
-> TW> Market seriously and put out a REAL Beginners edition. 

-> You insist that KNOPPIX isn't a beginner's Linux but really it
-> is as much as Windows would be for the uninitiated computer
-> user. 

Easier.
 
-> I realize that KNOPPIX didn't configure your modem for
-> you and you said it wouldn't print on your printer.  

Go to the GUI "console" under settings and set it up. 
Same with modem and sound card.

As root create adduser "whomever" and allow that user account
access to modem, printer and sound card.

-> These are
-> possible areas that could use some attention but I suspect that
-> with just a bit of typing on your part the modem and printer
-> would be functioning.

I asked a question in a Linux echo having already installed to a 
hard drive and had the printer and modem setup in seconds. 

I retain two pages of trivially simple commands to setup
here.
--- Platinum Xpress/Win/WINServer v3.0pr5